The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading speaks to the effects growing up in an alcoholic home or living with alcoholism can have on our self esteem. It took me a long while to recognize this in myself because honestly I come from a loving and warm family- and always felt the strength of that. How then did I end up struggling with weight and food issues all of my life? Why is it I was in a 22 yr marriage with an active A and couldn't seem to leave? I can see now that some of this is related to issues of self esteem.
The reading continues with descriptions of how consistent program work began to strengthen the feelings of weakness and self worth became more prominent. Finding a voice in meetings, trusting our HP, finding and working with a sponsor and eventually sharing what we know to others who may be reaching out for help are all paths to this new life of strength and confidence.
I know that coming to this program did begin A positive turn for me in my life. I am grateful to be here with you and to know I'm not alone.
Thanks for this topic Mary I can so relate. I must admit that when i entered program my understanding of many words was askew and needed to be redefined .
Self esteem and self worth were a few examples. I thought if I walked about feeling superior, judging and critiquing others, then because I could see their faults then I was superior and "better than"
Program stated," NO" . That is arrogance and a lack of self esteem . It taught me that self esteem is built by doing esteemable actions and not by judging or pulling down another.
Learning how to have priniciples and then to place these principles above my persoanality I finally started to develop a true sense of self and self esteem followed
I am grateful to be here and am grateful for your service. Thank you.
I too struggled to understand what self-esteem and self-worth were before I arrived. I can admit now that I often/always compared my insides to how others presented themselves on the outside. What this did was teach me to judge others and consider all interactions as win/lose.
It took some serious self-examination through the 12 Steps to come to the realization that life should be about win/win. The best way to 'feel' win/win is for me to give when I can and expect nothing in return. In working on me, understanding me and what makes me tick, and in working these steps with the intent to grow, I have been able to strip away so many layers of this disease and appreciate me as I am - strengths and growth opportunities.
I try today to look for what's working well - within me and around me. Prior to the program, I had this upside down - I tended to see what was not working. In my program work, improved self-esteem and self-worth are a direct result of putting me first and taking care of my needs. As I get more comfortable in my renewed 'skin', I can more effectively be of service to my family, friends and this program.
We are all worthy of recovery, and who am I to judge? That thought came to me a few years ago during prayer/meditation. A powerful thought (God given) that I hold on to every day!
(((Hugs))) to everyone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
