The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for October 25 talks about the defect of character that some develop by living with the disease of alcoholism . It is the habit of making "decision and choices passively" The reading points out that by doing this we "Let things happen, rather than taking action."
There are many reasons why we develop this defect the most obvious one is that we are dealing with insanity and any choice that we are able to see looks like disaster so we somehow freeze, and allow things to happen.
It is suggested that one way to make amends for practicing this defect is to stop practicing it. Sounds simple but is rather difficult.
Using alanon slogans, I found this easier than it sounds . I would ask ,myself Is this a mountain or a mole hill? How important is it.-- first things first, place principles above personalities and ACT Stop REACTING . All this helped me to take responsibility for my choices.
Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves that help:
Do I make a positive contribution to my meetings?
Am I making choices I can be proud of at home and at work?
Working Step 10 daily helps in this process. I not only see and feel my actions as the evolve in my da, I can take a positive action to correct what i find. No more going on automatic
The " Reminder:" suggests that Al-Anon has no opinion on outside issues and it is up to you to define our responsibilities.
. The quote is from :As We Understood ; " Making amends is not just saying I'm sorry it means responding differently from our new understanding."
I believe that my amends to myself will be life long and my learning how to respond in a healthy fashion takes practice and prayer.
Thank you Betty for todays C2C reading. I am very grateful to Al-anon that I am able to be intuitive to the chaos/drama as it becomes evident and ready to unfold. I am able now to see the arguments and anxieties brew up from my AH and can now walk away and diffuse before it gets blown out of proportion. Most of the drama is mole hills and are not worth the pain to address.
It is my responsibility to maintain my own peace, my AH can do what he wants but I choose not to be sucked into his misery.
Happy Sunday Betty and everyone!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Today's reading made me think of the prayer of St. Francis. I read it to say act in the opposite of who/how you used to (be)....So, instead of wanting to be understood, I need to try and understand. I need to give comfort rather than seek it. I need to be a source of peace vs. a part or cause of drama/chaos. Before the program, I viewed walking away or backing from conflict as a sign of weakness. Today, I view it as an act of peaceful grace - a strength.
"Yes", "No" and "You May Be Right" are absolutely wonderful tools for diffusing the sport of arguing so fondly preferred by my qualifiers. I can say that my days are more peaceful when I can use the tools and be a source of peace or indifference vs. part of the problem.
(((Hugs))) to both - and happy, happy Sunday. I am again feeling blessed to be 'here' with the wonderful MIP family!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
