The material presented
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It is sure hard keeping my heart open and my mouth shut but I am doing the best I can. I know my daughter's hormones are out of wack but there has always been a worry that she may have another mental disease going on besides depression. Any continued prayers are appreciated. If I didn't know people were praying I don't think I could be so strong too. I would think it is very hard for her to not hit the bottle again or use any type of drug. She chose not to take her hydrocone that the doctor gave her so she can maintain her sobriety. I pray she will call her mental health people so she can go back on her antidepressant if needed or get in for a session. I feel so helpless now. I did make a suggestion to her when she stopped by earlier when I witnessed this mood. She said, she could wipe her own butt! She is right. Alot of anger is coming out of her and I only offered to go to the bank with her to get some problems straightened out. I am leaving town Wednesday instead of today and glad I postponed my trip. She did need information from me and I was able to get it for her. I am relying on prayers and her HP to get her through this grieving time in her life. I am confident she will get to her AA meeting too as she has been consistant with that and I do not ever ask but she chooses to mention it to me. She also has a new job where there are a couple ladies that have given her so much support! I know they will see her mood change and encourage her to call her doctor. For me, I am continuing my trip to my parents and will focus on my own recovery and my own grieving. Without alanon this would be an entirely different scene. It would be extremely dysfunctional and probably one that would bring her back to the alcohol drug life. Thanks for being here. cdb xoxoxoxo
I agree with Josey, give her time. She needs to grieve. Her body went from carrying a baby to empty in a day, and there is no baby to cuddle. Her hormones are completely out of wack and she probably just feels empty.
My friend I can imagine the pain you are feeling, losing your grandbaby and seeing your daughter in pain. Aside from teh worry of relapse. Let her know you care, and keep an eye on her, if you feel she is going into a severe depression or post partum blues, she may need help, but for now just let her grieve. You might even offer to hold her or hug her, she might want your comfort. She is grieving for her child, but she is also your child.
Thank you for your replies and prayers. I wish she would allow me to hold and hug her now and will do that every opportunity I get. Now, I feel guilty for my trip to my parents :( but her dad will be here for her too. She and I have the same psychiatrist nurse and I did talk to her today. She is not able to tell my daughter the information I shared by law. The nurse was going to put her mental health team on alert. It is up to her to call and I know she will reach out for help since she has gone to ER twice in the past for help and been admitted to the psych ward for a couple days when she thought she was losing it. It is hitting me more this afternoon about losing the grandbaby too for my own sadness and loss. As some of you know this is not the first baby that was lost with her either :( She never dealt with the other situation and that sure concerns me. At least her resources are already in place and ready for her when she is ready. She has one really close AA friend who was going to be the GodMother who will surely keep an eye on her and guide her to ER if needed. I need to trust in mine and her HP now more than ever and the prayers that are given. Thanks again for your loving replies. cdb xoxoxoxo
You have so much going lady. I sure know how hard it is. I hope you take time to nap and get built back up. I think about you and yours often.
Someday things will change again. Nothing stays the same. But for now take care of YOU. It is ok to take some time for you when ya go to your mom. Take a nap, close yor eyes sometimes and turn off. I found being ON all the time was what was killing me.
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. We all grieve in different ways and it sounds like your daughter is in anger right now. I can imagine that she has a reason to be angry losing her child. I know I have been stuck in anger for a long long time about my childhood and that made me very unapproachable and rigid.
I hope you can take care of yourself at this difficult time and give yourself space and nuturing and not feel guilty that you are unable to reach her. Sometimes we are not able to reach people but they reach out to someone else.
Extra hugs and prayers for you. One of the hardest things for a parent to do is watch their child in pain. It is harder to deal with when they push us away, but that doesn't mean they don't love us..they just want their space to feel, grieve, and grow. Take care of you.
I agree, it is the hormones, the grieving process... maybe she is blaming herself. you just can't know (((((cdb))))
Just seems so similiar to what I'm going thru w/ my mother, I want to reach out but she doesn't want any help... maybe feeling helpless is the best thing... all we really can do is help ourselves, be there when they need us & support them in love & prayer the rest of the time.
I have had to stop reaching out to my mother emotionally, she just bites my head off! So be it, I am more than enough for me to handle... learning how to cope w/out crying on her shoulder. I ought to be feeling lighter, she must have resented me 'trying to help her' all this time anyway.
love, -K
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Thanks again for your kind words and support (((((friends)))) My daughter has such a good boss. He told her to take off as much time as she needs! She plans to go back to work tomorrow which is good since she needs the money. She was so exhausted today and didn't want to talk. She stopped by to get her mail. I got to hug her though and tell her I love her. I am glad I postponed my trip now for a couple days just for that hug and for her being able to know I was here at home if she needed me which she did for some things. Now, time for me to relax and regroup. Thanks again for your support and kind words. cdb xoxoxoxoxo
