The material presented
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to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You know... I have to say that my wife does do everything and I don't know that it's better.
She gets off work at 4PM and I get home at 6PM each day. She has super cooked every day when I get there, which is odd since my son has normally already eaten something, and she drinks her supper most nights now.
When ever I'm home (evenings/weekends) if I start doing anything around the house, she either tells me not too... "that can wait" or knocks me out of the way to do it herself.
She stores that up for when we have one of our famous arguments and says "I do everything around here..." Now... for a guy, (LOL) I do quite a bit around the house. I do laundry at least every other week, I have no problem cooking super if there is soccer or anything else going on.
I clean toilets, scrub showers, mop floors... My Mom and Dad would fall over dead! (I was kind of a sloppy kid) <grin>
And I have told her that since I am the only one eating what she cooks for super, if she feels put out doing it... don't. I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself. I won't starve.
Here is an example. This weekend I took our 11 yr old and drove 4 hours to see my brother before he gets shipped over to Irac. I planned this because she was going to be helping her folks pack for moving to a new home. We have been fighting for months now and I needed the break. She was very understanding of this until I was ready to leave. Then she tells me she will only be at her folks for a couple of hours... 'But you go have fun with your brother.'
Like I'm going to a brothel or something with my 11 yr old with me! Well I went anyway, I really wanted some time with him before he left. Before I left I told her she should do something nice for herself, something she wouldn't normally do. Get a pedicure, a message or go shopping for something she would really like.
While I was gone, she shampo'd the carpets painted the back door, did the laundry. Of course She was ready for a fight when I got home. I wasn't, and didn't participate. I told her how good the door looked and that she really knocked her self out around the house and it "looks very nice" and went to bed.
I don't know... Maybe it's guilt brought on by me having issues with her drinking. She doesn't agree she has a problem, but I have often thought that she may do this to justify drinking as often and as much as she wants. Maybe she is trying to convince herself that she can't be an A since she holds a steady job and does 'everything' around the house.
Just wanted to post this for those who say my h/w is not like those couch potatoes, maybe he/she doesn't have a drinking problem. I love my wife, but she is the poster child for the "functional A".
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Bingo rt , your right on. if she can continue to keep things looking good it's not causing her a problem . sad but true . A friend ofmine told me he was very demanding of his wife when he was drinking house had to be spotless and kids and herself lookin good . for him if he could look around his home and see it perfect he could tell himself that everything was okay , he didn't have a problem .
It's nice to appreciate what she does in your home and that u say so. Tho as u say she will throw it up at you durring an argument. Next time just smile and say and i really appreciate it thanks. no arguments end of discussion
It's kinda like a game of ping pong if u don't 'pick up the ball the game is over. goodluck Louise
I just want to say that my husband, when he is determined, actually cleans things and organizes things better than I do. And I am a neat freak. I can't stand for anything to be out of place or dirty. I just wonder sometimes. He gets high on crack or powder cocaine and is all antsy and restless, why not do something productive and get up off your butt and do some chores. At least let me get something out of you being an addict...like a spotless house, new roof...
I agree, it is all about appearance, if all looks well then there is no problem. My husband us a perfectionist, the problem is it is for anyone but him. He cares how everything appears. before we where married, his parents kept his credit perfect, drove him everywhere and bought him lots of nice clothes. He looked like the perfect well kept young man. It wasn't his doing though it was Mommy and Daddy's. It is only when you see a problem you have to deal with it.
