The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In this past week I have given a great deal of time to grieving for the loss of my "a". So much has happened in such a short period of time. The mess that he left behind is mine alone to clean up. I believe I'm in the right direction for recovery. All week long I was holding out hope for our family, but I see now that he is basically playing me. I feel like a puppet on a string that he has been dangling and playing with. He's telling me he wants to work it out in counseling and I found out that he's still sleeping with the other woman. God knows what he's telling her. I have worked with many men and women in my job that have gone through these same issues but have never been on the receiving end of it. All I can say is no wonder they come into my office depressed, crying, and overwhelmed. I feel all of these feelings now. I'm so angry at him and cannot believe that this is the same man I fell in love with.
I really feel that he's been lying to me from the beginning of our relationship, and probably really wanted to bail on me even after I got pregnant, but instead he stayed. He doesn't know that I know he's still seeing the other woman. After prayer and crying I have decided to let go completely. I know in my heart and soul that this person is sick and lost. He's living his life for the next party, the next woman, the next good time and I see now that his heart is not with me and our family. I don't see a need to continue with couple's counseling because he'll never come clean about this girl and he's not interested in sobriety or healing himself. What a waste.
I find comfort in my children and my family. I know I can heal from this and move on, and I'm giving myself time, but the pain is raw and I can't stand the feeling. At least I'm feeling it and I can cry whenever I need to. Thank you all for your support and words of wisdom. Letting Go and Letting God is not easy, but I will not sin in my anger. I know in time HP will deal with him and force him to become accountable for his actions.
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Hope things get a little easier for you and remember you are not the problem. Give yourself credit for being a good Mum and wife and being the best that you can be. That is all you can do. Tell yourself that you are a good person who deserves better. Thinking of you. Luv Leo xx
Hello Twin , there comes a time when you just know enough is enough ,some how we don't have to talk it over with anyone we just know. You deserve to be treated better than what your getting . Three in a bed never works .
Alcoholism has many nasty symptoms and unfortunatly infidelity is one of them. Today u need to be concerned about your physical well being , way too many sexual diseases out there. Take care of you keep the focus on your own needs . good luck Louise
No matter what you know or how strong you are, infidelity hurts. It is a betrayal and it hurts. Unfortunatley, just like everything else an A can rationalize it away.
You have to do what is irght for you and you have to protect yourself, physically and emotionally.
Trust your own instincts, you are not the problem. If you choose to go to counseling with him for your good as well, that is one thing. But if you know he is sleeping with another woman, protect yourself. You do not need to be exposed to the things he is exposing himself to.
Unfortunately they tend to indulge in behaviour that ends up with our hearts on a chopping block. I've been there a few times in my life with A-s. It seems that each time was a new time to get that much stronger and that much wiser for what lie ahead for me.
I KNOW it feels raw at this time, but I KNOW there will be a day where you will be able to face the future without fear of betrayal or deceit.When you put all of your faith in your HP, energy into giving to that woman in the mirror(the one who is your best friend) and any family you have that supports you..it will be so much easier.
Remember missing anything that you never had is a drain on your soul. Your heart will stop jumping into that empty pool when it gets tired of getting broken from the jumps without any water to catch you.
God,I wish I had better words to spill...but I really wanted to reach out to a fellow sister.Please take care.
