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Well, i won't be crying for my mother anymore... all of these months feeling sad when i saw her. She told me to come pick up my check at the house... 2 months ago, she had her gate codes changed. I kept asking for a new code, I have a house key, but still.
Her maid & yard guys come weekly... I asked her if I could have the new code... she said, "No, I'm not giving it out right now."
hahahahaaa, she won't give her only child, slave of her life, i would have hung myself for her 5 months ago, now I am 'less than the help!'
I feel like I am flying, God just saved me again! I am set free! Now I can love her with compassionate detachment... she will never abuse/hurt me again. I feel like she just divorced me or stabbed me in the back ~ I am free!!!!!!
I thank You God, I will continue to pray for her but the cross-carrying is over! I feel so much lighter, like I am flying!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Amazing to go from come over here and watch my house, massage me, massage my b/f to.....you can't have the gate code. That's not a 180, that's a 540 ! LOL
Seems as if your coming to terms with this in a way that is positive for ya. Rock w/ that girl.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Good for you! I know that realization is not reality until you make it that way, but you are definitely on the right track. Keep up the good work! You continue to inspire me that this does work (if you work it... right!?)
Happy Birthday month (day 3) !!!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
hey ((((kitty)))) isn't it amazing how someone can screw u over all ur life, and than do ONE thing, and all of a sudden, "ITS OVER!!" like the "ties that bind" are CUT!!!!!
my oldest brother did the same thing....all my life i tried to "get his approval" got put down.....he talks to me like i am an insect...he would call, ask me to fax this or email that for him adn i would.....THEN
i got my name changed.....erased the perp's name and he attacks...this was sept 04, when i went to court and got it done....anyway, i am still tryin at that time (was only in recovery 9 months) to please/ win his approval and than we are on the phone and i asked him something about his g.f. who is a nice lady and he tells me
"i am not sharing personal info with u anymore becuz i dont' trust u to keep it confidential"
i was sooo stunned becuz i am the ONLY one in the family who does NOT "tell tales" and he says that
well i just told him that was "ok, i accept it, good luck with it, and i accept ur decision and god bless"....and i hung up the phone and i suddenly felt FREE!!!! like i finally didn't care WHAT he thought/ did/ said/ felt, etc.....i was DONE with him....and i am STILL done with him
the other day, my favorite brother calls me and says he is "on his way to a***ole jim's house to pick up his last check" and i told my dear brother, "don't worry about him and anyting he says to U...i feel sorry for him...he is just a small little bitter man who is so miserable in his life...he needs prayer more than anything" my other brother told me he thought that was really cool of me to have that kind of attitude about jim and i just said the program taught me "how important IS he???" i am so glad he cannot upset me anymore cuz that means i have taken my power back.......really, kitty, jim could call me right now..this instant and "lay into me" and i would just feel pity for him and immediately leave the conversation.......it feels so good when i know i REALLY let him go.......i even pray to HIS hp to teach him love and compassion----to reveal himself to him...thats all i can do as i WALK away--- i am in recovery---he is not.....so WHO is ahead here??? i give thanks to my HP for giving me the power to RELEASE myself from all that resentment crap over someone who is not in recovery anyway.....
GOOD JOB KIDDO!!!! love ya, u have soooo much good to bless this universe with.......bless ur heart!!!!!!! rsl
Hi Kitty now you can concentrate on your own health and well being. No more days of hard toil and ungrateful recipients. Set the relationship on your terms now. Take care of yourself. Luv Leo xx
Kitty: What progress you are making to see your mother try to alienate you and push your abandonment buttons and not react. I think that is incredible that you can detach and see the big picture. No doubt your mother has done this to you many many times.
I think there were points like this in my family of origin work too. When I last visited my mother she abused me and then offered me money. For the first time I turned her down and said no i do not need that. I have always settled for a few dregs from people because that is all i felt I was worth.
Thank you kitty for you honesty and compassion and understanding that for some of us separating from family of origin is a lifetime's work.
My heart goes out to you! ((((((((Kitty)))))))) I wish you did not have to go through this and that your mom could see you for who you really are. You are a compassionate, loving, caring, loyal daughter. She is the one missing out! But on the positive side, you feel free now and that is great :) Her actions have brought you to support systems that help you to grow and learn. The work you have been putting into your alanon journey is sure showing through in your growth! I still remember when you first joined. You never cease to amaze me at how fast and strong you have grown in such a short time! Keep us updated and keep reaching out. I see such great love and happenings for you in the future :) cdb xoxoxoxoxo
I thank You God, I will continue to pray for her but the cross-carrying is over! I feel so much lighter, like I am flying!