The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes I come to this room and hear the despair from our newcommers, who are afraid that things will never change , that the A in thier lives will not stop drinking . Fear is running thier lives just as it did mine a few years ago. And I am reminded of how it used to be for me but thanks to Al-Anon I no longer fear change and know that regardless of what they do I will be okay.
There is always hope especially for us. Slowly we realize that there is nothing we can do about them but so much we can do for ourselves. My life can change for the better all i had to do was stick around and do what this program suggests. This is a simple program - but never confuse it with easy. This is hard work but have discovered that I am worth it.
There is HOPE - we can recover from our past it will loose the power to run our future.
We can recover from the affects of this disease and become who we need to be. With or with out them. (preferably with them)
Hopefully by example others in our lives will follow us into recovery .
If we just show up and suit up our lives will improve - when I got here all I wanted was a sober husband I was really selling myself short . This program has taken me to places I never dreamed of , only God knows where I am going and thats ok with me. We have sobriety in our home and a life I never imagined . Is it perfect ? no not by a long shot but thats ok too.
So I hope you stay and wait for your miracle. The real you .
That was a very beautiful and honest post, abbyal! It touched my heart, because when I first began reading about alanon, I was so, so very scared. And my past, and my beloved husband's drinking was ruining my life. I did not know where to turn. I wanted to manage his life and get him sober, but had no idea how to manage my own life.
And I know that not all A's find sobriety, but you are right, there is hope iin the program of alanon, we may be powerless over alcohol, but we gain power to care and nurture and love ourselves.
I will continue to pray without ceasing for my husband, and all A's, that HP will guide their lives and show them the path to sobriety and recovery. Oops! I better pray the same thing for us al-anoners too, huh?
Thanks and you know.....I am going to stay and wait for my miracle, no matter how long it takes. I cannot wait to meet the real me!
Abby, As usual you have an awesome message for us all. I too believe in HOPE. I was so confused and hurt when I came to alanon I didn't know what I wanted. I just knew my life had to change, and Boy! has it. In only one year I am able to look back and see all the gifts alanon has brought me. I'll never be perfect, my relationship with my A will never be perfect, but it sure will never be the hell that it was before I got here. If I walked away from Alanon today (which I wouldn't dream of) I can honestly say I'm a better person for what I have learned through alanon and I have much love for those who came before me and reached out to me.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
thanks for this wonderful post. It is so true. I have been here very long, but i can already look back and see the progress I have made. my outlook is more positive and hopeful and i am much easier on myself. i am taking care of myself which is a MAJOR change.
it's funny, i've read/heard 'when i came to al anon i just wanted my A to be sober', but i never really thought that is how I felt. as i work this program i am realizing a lot of things about myself that i just wasn't seeing. i truly did just want my A to be sober. i figured whatever i needed to work on i could do on my own if only he was sober. so wrong. as much as i hated to admit it I needed other people to help me. my thinking was just too messed up.
i love your signature. thankfully i finally 'came to'. it was a hard thing to admit....that i was as affected by this disease as much as my A and i too needed help!!!! I am really looking forward to 'came to be'
You all will never know how much I needed to hear that today. My A is now very upset about me being in the program. If I had not gone to some meetings and participated on this board for the last couple of weeks, I don't think I would have had the emotional strength to simply say, "I'm not doing this to hurt you or upset you, I am doing it so I can feel better inside."
Of course I told her a half truth that I need this because I grew up in the home of an A (my father). But even though she won't admit it to me, she knows her drinking is affecting our relationship, so she is PISSED that I apear to be forcing the issue.
I just simply can't thank you all enough for being here and being you!
Thank you...
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Hello rt - in a way you are forcing the issue, just by stopping to keep the secret as you recover she gets worse. Things start to change quickly when one person starts to change and get hppy . there is nothing worse than someone in the house is getting happy and it ain't you.
As your attitude begins to change and u start doing things differently she will become threatened as she is loosing control of the situation. Situation being you. hehe When we don't do what we have always done all hell breaks loose so double up on the meetings and buckle up.
Well, Louise, such a postive post. I hope that I can be where you are someday. I know that I have changed but my relationship with my A gets steadily worse. I miss him, his help, his companionship, and his love. And I have learned through the program that he just can't be there for me. Every request no matter how small is too much for him. And I know that I need to change for myself and the take on the responsiblity for running my own life.
I know there is always hope and I won't leave before the miracle happens for my emotional sobriety.
What an inspiring post. thank you. Fear has definitely rules my life on many many levels. When I look back on my life I know my HP was always there for me I was just not able to accept life on life's terms. Now I am more willing it is easier. Nevertheless life with an active a is very very challenging. I have been going to counselling and that is helping but I will take your suggestion as I grow and evolve in this program I will buckle up and be ready for the bumpy ride.
