The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
She wants to leave. Says that she hates me. I had told her last week that of course I am agrivated at the chaos in our home, but that I was trying to do something to help me get better. She knows my Father was an A and I focused on that, when talking about how I am obsessed with acceptance and to an unhealthy level get very anxious if I don't see appreciation for what I do. I also have an eagle eye for folks who have problems drinking. (unless they live in my house, LOL) I told her I am doing this for me. But I also said that things "might" be better from that, but that I had no idea how long it would take.
Last night she demanded to know what I was doing for this "magical" help. So I explaned to her what Al-Anon was. Don't think she was impressed. She had already made up her mind to leave, but I emphisized to her I am not doing this for her - I am doing it for me.
By then she just kept saying that she hates me and all the stuff she was going to take from the house because she wants to make me as miserable as she is. She has no idea!
I told I wouldn't say a word about anything she wants that didn't come to us via inheritance to me. (piddly amount of furniture/guns) And went to bed.
This morning she asked if I had met any "interesting" people at these meetings. She thinks I am trying to pick up chicks that don't drink.
I give up. Sorry for the rant... just wanted to vent.
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
A lot of active A's think of Alanon as a threat. They will also do or say anything to take the focus off of their drinking and onto someone else.
Until she see's her drinking as a problem, she is going to look at anything you do to help yourself as a threat. Misery loves company.
Alanon is an enemy to active alcoholism. We are part of the problem. There is no guarantee that if we change they will, but if we don't accept the bate and continue doing our own destructive routing, the drinker can't use us as an excuse to continue. They can try and even convince themselves they are right, but we will have figured out the truth.
Please , for yourself , don't give up. You got a tough road to hoe .
A healthier life is worth it. Prayers and strength be with you.
__________________
I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
