The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading speaks to our relationship with our Higher Power. Although I never have felt hatred or even fear toward God, I can relate to the reading as far as feeling my relationship with my HP feeling strengthened since coming into the program. I am grateful that growing up with a connection to HP was a natural part of my childhood and young adulthood; I know for some the difficult part of program is being uncomfortable with the spiritual connection (I have heard some say that the 'religious' aspect of the program turns them off. I certainly have struggled, but what I am learning is that my HP has been showing and telling me all the things I need to know and hear. My struggle is not interfering with my own (stubborn) will!
A couple of years ago one of my aunts died. She was my second mother, and a loving matriarchal figure in my family. She is the one who helped me grow in faith as a child. When she died, I noticed I had an awful time getting myself back into a church (after her funeral). Coincidentally at the time of her death, my marriage was reaching its great unraveling. There was some time when I certainly turned away from my HP. Luckily for all of us HP is patient! My life is so different now but what I have noticed is that since coming into the program and cultivating my relationship with HP again, there have been opportunities to serve in my faith community as well. I believe that HP is giving me ways to be connected again. I am now teaching my daughter's religious ed classes and have been playing music for masses 2-3 times a weekend. I had the thought a few weeks ago that I looked up and was all of a sudden in church again--and the best part is I have been there in service.
I don't know if it will be a help to anyone struggling with similar thoughts, but when I am feeling overwhelmed (single mother of 3, carrying the mortgage on a house too big for us, eat, work, sleep, care for kids rut etc etc). I remember--I am not doing this alone. HP's got a plan for me.
Hope everyone has a great Tuesday; for you fellow North-easterners I do BELIEVE that someday soon spring will come! Tomorrow is April Fool's Day though so I am preparing for another 8 inches of snow.
I am on the West Coast. I had been up waiting for my wife to come in and she just stumbled through the door. I am in a crises right now and I don't know what to do. It is 3 in the morning here. I have 2 children. I am overwhelmed.
I too have to remind myself that HP has a plan, it would just be nice to have a hint at what it is.
Thunder, I've been reading a few other posts in the forums and they're talking about detaching, letting them make their own mistakes etc.
You sound like a gentleman, waiting up to ensure your wife is home safe, just as I wait up to ensure my son is home safe (he moved back home with his 3yr old girl after his ex chose crack over family).
We try to do the best we can but then the A takes advantage of it and we get dragged down to doormat status.
I don't know about you, but it's not what I want for my life or the life of my 3yr old granddaughter. So I try to detach by ignoring him when he comes home like this. (yes he's drunk again and uses the excuses of being depressed or angry or worked or was up early or something)
I will aim to go one further now when he comes home drunk/high when my grandbaby is awake and tell her in front of him that he is sick and unable to care for her properly and also tell him he is sick and not able to care for her 100% at this point. Apparently this is detaching in a loving way...hahaha I think it's a bit sarcastic but whatever works.
I guess with your situation, you can only focus on you and your children. If you wife wants to mess up then she has to do the explaining to everyone.
I dont really know as I'm newish to this and still learning the first few steps.
Good topic as I am on the third step, and learning what it really means to turn my life over to a Higher Power. Welcome to the newcomers, keep coming back!
