The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I finally unblocked my ah # and talked to him. I told him I started going to meetings and he said good for me. I was on my way to a meeting when he called so I told him I would call him back after. I did, I was not surprised when I called him back that he had been drinking. I didn't ask him or even mention it. He had that slur and sarcastic attitude, the one we all know too well. I am still very emotional and hurt. He knows this. Of course he tells me it's good that I'm going since I'm the one who has a problem. What a horrible wife I am and it's my fault why he is the way he is blah blah blah. The few meetings I have gone to and coming here is helping me little by little. I was just started to realize his drinking is not my fault no matter what he says. It just sent me over the edge. I started crying my eyes out and the anxiety set right back in. I'm at my lowest point and he is just kicking me while I'm down. I told him I couldn't talk to him when he is like this and hung up then blocked his # again.. I don't want to feel shame, guilt,angry or sad anymore. I am trying to fix me the only way I know how! I should never have opened up to him.
Hi fmb you did fine telling him what you are doing
For yourself.
You do not need to tell him anything else about your
Recovery. It is your business alone, if he attended
AA the same would hold. Its a private matter between
You and your HP.
I too attended alanon when i was at rock bottom and
My dry ah was being really nasty. Keep going for you,
It takes awhile but eventually you will start to feel better.
Actually my real healing started after he moved out
And i felt safe to talk about myself and my life in mtgs.
You are doing fine! i understand where you Are coming
from. Keep reaching out for support.
(((4myboys))) You tested the waters and found out they had not changed. Yourr actions and his responses are both very familiar and you are not alone . Reaching out and expecting the alcoholic to change and being surprised by their response is something I did often. I'm glad you decided to block the number once again and take care of yourself.
Al-Anon meetings, the slogans, the serenity prayer, all helped me to stay in the day and focus on myself. You are doing fine, and please do keep coming back
What you did was not unusual. I'm sorry for that reaction from him, but not surprised. In a way, it's better than fake promises and insincere apologies. What usually happens after you grow strong in alanon, is they come back to you eventually but typically are lying and still not ready for change. Just keep moving forward and take care of you. I don't know where in a set of marriage vows where you said "I do" to emotional abuse, blaming, contempt...Nope.
I got all the bad Pink just said but mine was dry so keep moving
forward for you and your healing. My ah was also was attending AA.
I did see a drug and alcohol therapist to help me with my
trauma and divorce care to help me with my divorce issues.
Keep reaching out for loving support from good healthy
people. You know who they are. Negative and bad people
do not help you on your recovery journey. They hinder not
help. We need to prop ourselves up to begin to heal.
Good for you for deciding to reblock his number. You dont need to feel the way you do when you talk to him, its in your hands and i think its great that you took the action you did. The best thing i learned from Alanon is that i am soley in charge of my emotions, feelings. No one has the power to upset me in any way.
Thank you all. I am slowly coming around to learning how to take care of me. I know I have a long road to recovery but I am I willing and ready to to climb every hill, mountain and rock to get there. I will continue to keep coming here and to meeting for the love and support I deserve. All of you are so wonderful!
Sounds like you handled this very well. The disease knows just how to get to us and going to Alanon meetings and doing the readings and work helps us be strong enough to care for ourselves.
