And today, while I was considering how my wife seems to have this desperate need to be in communication with me at all points of the day the brilliance of modern technology appeared to me. 

Usually, I have a chat window open with her to tell her important things like: I got to the office safe. I will be away at a meeting. I am heading home now. 

The thing is, she wants to chat all day long, and I started to feel like she is just sitting around and waiting for me all day. (The second I log back in to my computer after a meeting, she sends me a message.) And, this does not feel like a healthy thing for me OR her. (How can she have any autonomy when she seems to be waiting at the computer all day for me to get back from a meeting? How can I focus on my work when she is constantly chatting at me?) 

Clearly, I am in need of a new boundary, but I feel an obligation to respond when I see that she has said something. Or, at least read what she has said. Then it hit me: There is this thing called "invisibility" or "turning off chat" that I can do! I can say: I need to work right now and a have a few meetings, but I will pop back on at lunch. Then, I can simply make myself invisible to her, and get on with my day. 

And, I tried it today right away. Poof! There went all the drama related to how long I take to read what she said and get back to her. Miraculously, my workday became more serene and productive. I laugh at myself a bit for not figuring this out sooner. (I use "invisibility" ALL the time with students and co-workers. The concept itself isn't new to me, but the application sure was!)