The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lately I have been feeling a lot of resentments with people in my life. Those feelings are putting me in a bad place. I have been trying very hard to turn them over to God. This morning I was able to pray for the people that are the source of my resentments. I realize that they are untreated alanon people. I pray that they will receive peace in their lives...the same peace I strive for each day. This is not an easy task but if I manage to actually do it I can have a much better day.
Hi, I have found that, for me, resentments are a result of either too high expectations, or lack of forgiveness. Lack of forgiveness for me just ruins my day. My wife and I had an argument this morning, nothing major, but in the old days it would have ruined my day, I would be huffing and puffing around work and making people wonder what the heck is wrong with me.
Since I found forgiveness, and have given myself permission to feel feelings instead of just bottling them, I have found that I am much more resilient. Plus, I'm not swallowing poison and hoping to kill someone else - I did that for long enough, and most of the time it didn't kill anybody, it just injured me!
I hated feeling resentments and was also caught up in them until I learned the solutions like Kenny wasn't about anything that "they" had to do and only what I had to do. Like Kenny I practice forgiveness for me. I let go of the stuff, like, blame and shame and resentments like Kenny does and let it go. It doesn't mean I bless the behavior what I do is let go of the effect....and I do it with love. Keep practicing. ((((hugs))))
I think we all have periods of resentment ... like Kenny and Jerry said, when you feel them coming on just remember that resentments will only make things worse for you and just practice forgiveness instead!!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
This was a topic in my F2F meeting the other day. Several people mentioned that the way they deal with people who are bugging them is to pray for them. One wise old-timer shared that she prays for "her" people in accordance with the 11th Step, i.e., she prays that these people find God's will for them and the power to carry that out...and leaves it at that. I found that to be a keeper and I'm beginning to add it to my own spiritual practice.
I know exaclty what you mean...I did a whole lot of wallowing last night....couldnt get to sleep until 2:30am.
I kept thinking about the details of my AH's (brief but real) affair. it was 3 years ago and I still cant get the "images" out of my head. this hurts me, not him!
i do love him today and we are trying to reconcile and fix our broken marriage. At the same time, I want him to feel the same pain i do. I guess he does in a different way with shame and gulit. he is in AA and is working very hard (one year sober).
I have to try ant trust that he will never go back to his sick and self-centered ways. but it is so HARD!
I go to my face to face Alanon meetings once a week. when i can i try to get help on this board and so far it does help.
