The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had trouble registering, so I decided to try again and repost my message. Thank you to all who responded to earlier message.
I am new to this site and i have no idea where to start. I find it hard to open up to strangers about my toxic family issues. I just don't know where to begin.
I too read the "Laundry list" an identified with most of the chacteristics. I would love to share it with my husband but I don't want it to across as me making excuses why I am the way I am. Although, I'm sure he would tend to agree with most of the characterisics as well.
How does one move forward; change those characteristics? I am in my late 40's, my father is still a drinker, my mother has Dementia. They live in a retirement home. My siblings - I can't cope being a part of their lives. We are a very messed up family. I am the only child that lives far away from our parents. I am the middle child. My brother and 2 sisters had close relationships with my mother when we were growing up, my mother and I did not.
I struggle daily with worry, guilt, and shame. As a child and adult I seek love, approval, respect. I want to be treated the way I treat others and that's never reciprocated. I seem to constantle be seeting myself up for hurt and pain and anger.
I am once again seeking help and support and understanding on-line because I am very isolated in my community. Many sites wee not what they seemed, but I continue to find one that fits my needs. I truly hope this is the one.
Welcome Regan Alanom face to face meetings will offer you a place to connect with others who truly understand, and offer new constructive tools to live by
You are not alone and there is help . The alanon hot line number can be found in the white pages.
Keep coming back here as well
Regan have you tried face to face alanon meetings.
That is the best way to start your journey and break
Your isolation. My home group is Alanon group, there
Are adult child and Codepent support groups out there
also but They are not as plentiful as alanon meetings.
I would venture to guess most of us come from alcoholism
And or dysfunction from alcoholism. You are not alone.
When you attend ftf you can learn, listen and absorb the
wisdom Of so many before you.
I just listened for two years i shed loads of tears. I came on
here, also got my three little readers from my alanon Meeting.
They cost between 12-14 dollars each. There is no quick
Fix it all takes time and willingness to be honest, change
And to grow in the program.
In alanon you learn the art of self love,self care and self
Acceptance with your HP holding your hand. It is a me
Program with many loving people helping you on your
Journey.
Regan sometimes toxic family issues can not be
Fixed but you can learn healthy boundaries and
Loving detachment.
We Can only change ourselves, Not anyone else.
Let it begin with me is a good slogan. Keep in our
Own hula hoop. Is the one i have trouble with.
We are all humans and sometimes we need help, asking
And reaching out for Support. When i first started alanon
i was at rock Bottom, there was no where for me to
go but up! I have learned to keep reaching out that
It is okay to be needy and need loving guidance And
support.
It really does work if you work it! Is it painful yes!
Ftf meetings makes you Accountable to yourself and
to keep showing up for You and your own recovery.
