The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone, it's been sometime since I have been to the boards and I can definitely tell I have been missing you all! My Dad passed away last weekend and his funeral was Wednesday March 11, ironically that was his bday, so he got his wish that we had a party for him. I delivered his eulogy and was pleasantly surprised to receive applause and standing ovation. I had myself talked into thinking I nor my speech was not good enough and that I would look like a fool. Ahhhh, the perceptions we have of ourselves can be so damning.
On another note, my AH has been sober 11 months and been home for almost 2 months and while there are some rocky times, we are actually doing well and life is humming along. We are having more "normal" issues such as discussing why he can't take his shoes off before walking on my clean floors...rather than fighting over him spending money, time and energy on getting high. Small marital disagreements are nice and sure do pale in comparison to the other life! I still have a low level of trust, however I don't spy, watch, interrogate etc. I work on my side of the street and have him work on his. On the advice of our marriage counselor we do a weekly check in and I ask or make mention of things I have noted with him and his program, things like asking how is meetings are, how is he doing on chairing his Tuesday meeting, maybe I noticed he hadn't talked with many folks during the week and he asks of me. It's more of a discussion. I am still scared however of relapse and I don't know that the feeling will ever completely go away.
Glad to be back, I have missed you all.
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Linda
Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries
I'm so sorry for your loss, Linda. Glad to hear that things with your AH are improving, too. You sound great and I will pray for you as you grieve the loss of your dad. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers today! Thanks for checking in here at MIP, we've missed you!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Sorry to hear about your dad, Flower.
And glad to hear things are happier at home. I know what you mean about enjoying "normal" problems, they seem so insignificant after years of drama don't they?
(((Flower)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
So sorry for your loss. It's hurt I remember my dad's passing so well to this day.
You need to keep us updated on your journey, especially with your trust because I will need ESH on how you handle it. When my son gets out of prison I know for a fact my trust and worry will be there in regards to relapse.
Happy for you that there is light at the end of that dark tunnel.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
flower: I am so glad you got to do a eulogy for you dad. I was very far away when my dad so when he died, they had a graveside service & I was able to share my feelings over the phone. It has been over 3 years since then & I am so grateful that I was included. Sometimes I feel so distant not just in miles. I know they all want the best for me. That's enough about me.
Hang in there w/ whatever you are going through. I myself am glad you are back on here. I try to stay on between the good & bad things that happen in my life w/ or w/ the alcoholic in mind. Just a thought.
Very sorry for the loss of your dad. As for all else, I remain moved by your journey. You have acquired so much wisdom through all you've been through
We are always the last to really notice our own progress. You described handling a major loss, dealing with your early recovery addict husband, maintaining separate programs, awareness of boundaries....This is what alanon brings you. Serenity. Not a perfect life but greatly improved skills for dealing with the life you have. Thank you for sharing that example...And again, so sorry for the loss of your dad.
