The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So after 6 months separation and after all he put me through, exAH sends me a txt last night saying: "I miss you"
Well he didn't miss me during my pregnancy when I was lonely and down all the time, worrying myself sick about our future and finances whilst he was either drinking at the pub or sleeping his hungover off.
He didn't miss me and my daughter during the 7 years we stayed together. He wouldn't get involved in any activity that didn't allow him to indulge in alcohol and when at home would be either unavailable drinking alone and living in his head or extremely inebriated, annoyingly ""happy"" messing up with my daughter's routines and undermining my parenting or he would be angry, passive-agressive or plain nasty.
I don't care if he misses me.
I am glad it is finished and I am happy he is out.
Rant over. Thanks for listening.
__________________
Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
Good going luiza let it out! You went thru a lot with him
and kept sane. Pat yourself On the back you survived it
and are recovering, growing and healing. Keep reaching
Out for support!
Yes indeedy .... the alcoholic arrives at that point where when they look around something or someone is no longer there and they need to have it back only what is gone has their own mind and own awareness and determination and can and will say out loud (or quietly) "we had our own lives to go on with while you were doing something else" We still have our own lives to continue building. (((((hugs)))))
When i got these words i thought, 'what or who is it you miss?' Because, within my relationship i was unhealthy, negative thinker so to him i was a person who controlled and fixed within his life, sometimes directly him, i was easily manipulated and controlled myself by him, he had all these little words or tools that worked my insides, he used my guilt against me. he could be really scary if the eaier tools didnt work. I was the person in his life who gave him everything he wanted and needed. Of course he missed that person but for me, shes dead, gone for as long as i work my lrogram. I will nevergive myself away to be his ...... anything. The person he misses is done. The new me, the real me the in realuty me, he doesnt kknow so how can he miss me, he does t know me. I didnt believe that lie for a second.
Hi Luiza - Just wanted to tell you how much I admire and envy your strength. I hope with enough time, work, and support I will be able to adopt attitudes and actions that match yours. Best of luck to you. xo
My ex whined about how he lost his life partner...like um...weren't there 2 of us in that relationship? I was supposed to feel sorry for him when he ran my finances into the ground, drove a wedge into my family, forged checks in my name, didn't work consistently and relied on me financially for years...oh and then begged me not to shut his phone off and then socked me with a 600 dollar phone bill. He missed the support and enabling...not me. Maybe at best, he missed the good times in the beginning. Towards the end, there were almost no good times.
