The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I won't rehash all the issues I have had with my son the last few years but his drinking and drug use is well known in our family and his moms family yet people still want to feed the animal. I just saw a FaceBook posting from my daughter, she and my son were at their moms house for a dinner. In the picture my son is sitting at the table holding a bottle of beer toward the camera like he is toasting it, I can tell from his eyes and posture he is trashed.
I know I can't control his drinking or control how others deal with him but it just makes me very sad to see him sitting at his mothers dinner table drunk. I would bet a dollar she bought the beer because she knew he was coming, she is in as much denial of his issues as he is.
I can only say a silent prayer and hope he had enough sense to ride with his sister and not be driving, but sadly he has already proved not to be that responsible.
That is sad. I feel for you. I just am starting to get denial. (((Hugs)))
I have realized that most of the people I was around use denial. I use to get myself upset because I wanted to scream...."don't you see the elephant?"
I am thankful now that even though I am human and use denial at first (which is healthy actually) I don't stay in it too long.
My son always thought he could drive.....in fact he drove better in his words. I can only thank God that he was caught before he killed somebody.
You are in my thoughts and prayer that your son will someday come to terms with his disease. Hopefully a intervention will make him realize. My son's intervention was not what anyone wanted but it's keeping him alive
((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Yes, denial isn't just a river in Egypt, that's for sure. it always amazes me that people can even do it when confronted with a Facebook picture. I mean, I've seen plenty of them, you can just tell that the person is trashed, making a fool of themselves, but everyone else around them is saying "yeah, kick ass, \m/, whatever. It's really sad, and requires a lot of detachment that I know is so difficult for a parent.
Keep saying those prayers, our HP is the only entity that can effectively intervene, at least once the A is ready to listen anyway. In the meantime, HP is the only thing that can comfort you, keep leaning in!
I will go with a lesson my sponsor taught me years ago that telephones and computers and such all have "off" buttons and I could/should use them to maintain my peace of mind and serenity. That still works and I used it last evening. If I am powerless, I use the off switch. ((((hugs))))
I wish I could say I was truly a detached parent but it wouldn't be true, it hurts my heart to see my sons struggles knowing how his life will turn out if he continues his habits. But I am doing much better at just keeping my mouth shut, as little as six months ago I would have instantly picked up the phone and called his mother and asked what the h**l she was doing letting him drink at her home. And the next time I saw my son I would have told him I saw the pictures and he should be embarrassed by them, and the possible repercussions of posting pictures like that on public forums. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH is all anyone hears, so now I just remain silent.
