The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
(((hugs))) from me as well. Dealing with the logistics and emotions of divorce are so hard! I hope that you are taking the time to listen to your inner voice and that you trust yourself to make the best decisions for you.
Here is a question that you might want to think about: Do you feel ready to move on with your new life?
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thats really a good question! Mentally yes i am ready! I do have
A very good lawyer and supportive people. I am fairly well centered
And strong.
Its the emotional side I still struggle with. I am still processing my
grief, trauma And doing recovery work. Often i still feel weak kneed
and overWhelmed trying to come to terms with my feelings and emotions.
I wouldn't agree to anything without consulting the lawyer and my HP. I recently told someone "I'll have to think on that and get back to you." It felt good to do that instead of answering right away because I felt pressured. Hugs to you, I know divorce is a very tough thing.
I'm glad you understand that he can push and want and verbalize his desires to move on AND you can take the time you need to find a fair and equitable solution to the finances with the help of your lawyer.
Hi mirandac, lean on your tools, dont give away your power or serenity to him. Hes doing what dry drunks do. You can do what recently free, happy, eyes wide open, can see the beauty in the world type person does.x
I feel for you (((hugs)))) ...... It is extremely hard to move through a divorce, and betrayal. All your emotions are okay. Take really good care of you and don't beat yourself up for your thoughts or emotions.
Thats really a good question! Mentally yes i am ready! I do have A very good lawyer and supportive people. I am fairly well centered And strong.
Its the emotional side I still struggle with. I am still processing my grief, trauma And doing recovery work. Often i still feel weak kneed and overWhelmed trying to come to terms with my feelings and emotions.
That is wide awake stuff and I will stand and support you as you go thru it cause it is that place just before the Biggest "Aha" I received in our family groups. I came to understand and the picture got clearer then I could imagine. Feelings are not fact!! they are just reactions to the truth of what I imagined things should have been to the reality of where and what they were. I use the thought given by Dr. Bob on acceptance and I practiced in all get out to put them in the fore front of my brain and not let it waiver. You can find the lead on page 449 of the 3rd edition of the Big Book of AA.
I was in Al-Anon and my Al-Anon sponsor steered me to it. "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in he answer, the problem went away"... it goes on
And acceptance is the answer to allmy problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-some face of my life-unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake." Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
unless I accept life completely
on life's term's I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world
as on what needs to be changed in me...and myattitudes.
This was about letting go and letting God and then going on my own not with the idea of winning anything and just the practice of self embracement. You are you and thank God that is more than enough most times. All the other BS will come out and you are free. Holding you in support. Letting go and letting God. ((((hugs))))
