The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm back into my program after an absence and relapse. My current job and health make it really challenging to get to meetings with any predictability. I understand their importance and power and continue to try to find a way to make that happen. But what I'm wondering is - in the meantime, is there a sponsor in the group that would be willing to email me 3 times a week, recommend readings or tools to work the steps and possibly check in by phone once a week, or twice a month? (or some other structured activity that I can be held responsible?)
I still feel unsure about precisely how this online program works. I am always concerned about overstepping, hijacking someone's share, oversharing or asking something that isn't allowed in the program.
But today I've decided to stop overthinking it and worrying and rather just ask for what I need.
I do believe, having a sponsor is crucial to recovery. Here is the definition of what a sponsor does:
A sponsor is another Al-Anon member who can confidentially help us in the recovery process. Sponsorship provides personal support to members, whether they are new or have been in the program for any length of time. Sponsors share their own experience, strength and hope, explain the Al-Anon program, guide their sponsees in using the tools of the program, and help sponsees to work and apply the Twelve Steps if they choose to do so. Sponsorship is not required, but can be immensely beneficial both to the sponsee and the sponsor! Additional information about sponsorship, including suggestions for how to choose a sponsor, information on how sponsorship works, and suggestions for being a sponsor, can be found in the Al-Anon pamphlet, Sponsorship: What Its About (P-31.) This pamphlet can be obtained at at meetings
Unfortunately, I currently have. Too many sponsees and cannot volunteer to do this. I will say that I have successfully worked as an "online sponsor" and that it does work, just as you outlined. I hope you will be able to connect with someone to continue this process. Meanwhile, keep coming back, use the slogans, share, live one day at a time and trust the process
I dont see too much of online sponsoring here to be honest. This subject has been brought up before on mip so dont Take it personal. I think most of sponsoring is done in ftf
meetings.
i have a sponsor in my ftf group we are not a great fit but i
have not found a different one yet. Some people go thru 2-3
before they find the right one.
-- Edited by Mirandac on Thursday 12th of March 2015 11:33:31 PM
Jenny, if you see someone on here you particularly admire that you would like to be your sponsor, or even just help you in a more private way, you could always PM them. I don't have an online sponsor, but have had some pretty good PM conversations with a few guys who have helped me think some things through.
Thanks Miranda - I'm not taking it personally :) I"m just wondering what the next steps are and if anyone else feels like they work the program thoroughly without the guidance of a sponsor? Its hard to be consistent at F2F because I have Lupus. I never know if I'm going to have a good day or not, and it screws up planning anything. It would be great if I could find a sponsor who would be willing to meet me at home on the Lupus days, but like you said - finding a good fit is hard enough and I'm not having any luck.
My guess is on line forums are probably the only way for someone who's disabled to get to a meeting - any other ideas, I am open and please share.
After this relapse, I want to make sure I have someone to hold me accountable so I don't backslide into old patterns.
Thanks for your input Kenny- I was actually thinking about messaging someone last night. I will go with that for now, and just keep it ODAT.
I have an in person sponsor that I found in my face to face meetings and over the years I have found many al-anon online friends to private message from different sites, but I need a sponsor in person to work the steps with, this is just me as I see it. Every one works their programs with how it works for them. I have seen people discuss this on MIP before and believe it is hard to sponsor without seeing people face to face for me, so I haven't been willing to sponsor or get an online sponsor. I hope you are able to find a way that works for you.
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hi, I hope you find something that works for you. Myself, I need to talk on a regular basis with my sponsor, although we have long distance sponsorship. I meet with her f2f about ones or twice a yr, but we talk as often as I have a need. Besides that we have a set time ones a wk where we read and discuss what we read. (Program related books) I, myself, wouldn't know how to sponsor a different way, because that's the way I'm sponsored and that's what works for me. However, I tried a few different ones b4 I found one that worked for me.I found that sponsorship for myself is crucial to my recovery. It keeps me from isolating and it helps keep me responsible. I hope you find one that works 4 you. Don't give up....Ask someone if you feel the nudge.... ((Hugs))
Yes, i agree with everyone. I would want to at least talk on the phone and i would want to know someone first. Its a two way thing i think. I call my sponsor weekly and see her at meetings. I asked her because i liked her committment ans she said yes because she liked mine. I suggest getting to know people first and pming them privately, that way they have saw your recovery and you have saw theirs.
The way I learned to sponsor from my past sponsor, my current sponsor and my mentor is not to call and check on my sponsee, unless we are making plans to get together. To me it has been a part of my recovery, learning to reach out, being responsible for myself and learning to trust and love for the first time. I had to do the reaching out. My sponsee does as well with me. I'm just a guide, a trusted friend that helps her work her program. I hope you find the perfect sponsor ;)
__________________
I needed these behaviors in my past they helped me survive I'm finding new and better ways to not just survive but thrive
I have a sponsor that lives a few hours away so I don't see her face to face too much, however it works for us as we phone and text. I think an online sponsor could work out fine and I liked the suggestion to approach persons via PM that have what you want. It's cool you are thinking of a sponsor and that additional type of help. (((HUGS)))
__________________
Linda
Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries
