The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi WTI , I do believe that my thinking had become very distorted from living with and dealing with the disease alcoholism in my partner as well as myself. When I found the rooms of Al-Anon, I had almost given up. I had tried everything from religion to counseling and nothing seemed to help. My thinking was distorted, I was sad, angry, depressed and hopeless. If I had not found the help in Al-Anon I could easily see that my thinking could have led me to taking my own life.
In fact I have heard that alcoholism kills family members as well as the alcoholic equally.
So I would say my thinking: believing that I was in control, that I had power over others, that I could fix everybody else's problem and that I was perfect and didn't have a problem certainly could have killed me
I think thats a perfect way to put it. Thanks wti. To me it means that our flawed thinking has a detrimental effect on our health. I spent so long with my thoughts being automatically negative, the doom and gloom and worry was my first response to everything really. Living in fear a lot of the time, waiting for the next crisis. Being obsessed with another person meant i didnt take care of myself. Low self esteem meant i dint want to take care of myself anyway. All this takes its toll, my whole body reflected the way i was living. Walking with my shoulders down, eyes down, poor posture. Stomach issues, thyroid issues, muscular issues all linked to stress and anxiety. I think alcoholism takes its toll on the health and wellbeing of the whole family. I habe read somewhere that the life expectancy of alcoholics is much lower than average but it would be good to know the life expectancy of family members. I would think it would be lower too. Thats why alanon can save our life, its saved my life in terms of the quality of my life but also my health has improved because i look after myself because im worth it now.x
Great topic. I see it as I had a thinking problem, my brain would never shut off. I would wonder about what other people thought, I would think about how to plan ahead to stop my A from drinking and doing other things, I couldn't shut off my brain and relax. The brain needs to have relax time and so does your nervous system other wise you walk around very stressed and it pays a toll on your health. So as I worked my program and learned to let go of other people and their stuff, I have been able to relax and not try to think ahead. I now know what other people think of me is truly none of my business and in truth they aren't usually walking around judging me like I would think anyway. My stress is much lower and I love relax time clearing my head. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
For me it is all perception and having the ability to put myself in another's shoes. Makes a big difference when the old ego isn't rearing it's head, cause when it does, the situation can be a killer. :)
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
For me, I was working myself to death, trying to pick up all the stuff my wife was letting fall, just to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table and the house in some sort of livable condition, or so I thought. I thought that if I just worked harder and made her life easier, she would feel like she had the time to get help. When I finally gave myself permission to slow down and work with MY budget, I realized just how overwhelmed and exhausted I really was. And, thanks to Alanon, I have been able to keep myself on this path and make better decisions about what has to be done now and what can wait until later.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
I heard at a meeting once : "Alcoholics are problem drinkers. We are problem thinkers".
I agree with Betty that some of my damaged thinking takes the form of thinking I have control over anyone else but myself, that I can fix other people in any way.
I would add OVER thinking any given scenario. I'm one of those that can really dwell in my own head and struggle with saying what's on my mind. So I guess making the transition from my thoughts to saying what I need to say is in there also.
These are all really great shares. I identify strongly with detaching from most things but in some cases needing to just say something. I love the steps because they show me what my story is. What my patterns are. What my solution is.
They show me how loving God is.