The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
just came from a meeting and was listening to the opening read: changed attitudes can aid recovery .. I began to think about power .. there's never been a time in my life when I was powerless . either I had the power to crush me or effect another in a negative way or the balance was that once I got in recovery, I was finding the power of loving words that heal. Seeing all the times I would wonder why it takes me so long to work through something or why I can't change something until I can .. because words disease attitude all had power over me for many years .. when I begin that downward obsession, yep I am sliding back into the pit .. even if it's only the pit of my stomach feeling the sick ..
when I think of changed attitudes then and the power of 'words .. I see the power for me has been found in meetings .. the power is love wisdom truth hope, etc .. the higher power of a group with one authority a loving god in the center (gods words) .. for years I have been waiting and searching for my own words to have the power . but my words ? never healed me without others combined ..
remember first going into alanon and wanting an answer sheet for what to do with the alcoholic because of course he was for Sure my problem .. blame shifting in me .. no focus on me whatsoever ... through the years I have since learned the answer is meeting together; the solutions are different for each of us and when I don't know what to do with something in me yet, I probably need a meeting of some sort because my solution isn't here yet; I have to go there to find it 'hear it..
we also read in the beginning of every meeting, we become irritable and unreasonable 'without knowing it' .. regardless of how much time in recovery I have (I) will always be 'human .. I will always have moments of insanity and unreasonability .. if I expect that I won't, I will also have moments of resentment for Unrealistic Expectations .. my moments may get fewer and further apart but I will still be just human .. So, beginning to see if I am unreasonable without knowing it sometimes .. how much time have I actually waisted or spent through the years trying to Reason with an Unreasonable person .. (me) way too many to count .. think what I am beginning to get through this is surrender .. if god has all the love Real power solutions hope wisdom etc .. makes more sense for me to stop turning away in all these other different directions .. or even turning 'back' to me ..
haven't shared in this site for a long time at least when it comes to starting a topic but it was on the drive home tonight I discovered after x amount of years in program .. that changed attitudes .. attitude being words we tell ourselves or others or words they tell us; it isn't my own words that are going to bring me serenity .. it's higher powers .. & others higher power works through in the sharing & healing words in meetings ..
wishing everyone serenity & thankful for all the Reasoning that Grows one day one share at a time when we come together in the 12 steps fellowship with higher power ..
Dear MeTwo2 . What a powerful share!!! I never realized how a negative my attitudes had become , how irrational and unreasonable. I had become , until I began to use the tools of this fantastic program.
I did hear that statement about changed attitudes , understood it intellectually but did not have a clue how to go about it. I also felt that my attitudes were "who I was"and if I change that I would disappear. How irrational is that. I found that my attitude changed, when I began to use the tools each day in my life. The slogans may appear to be simple little sayings, but when applied to every situation in my life.,my attitude changed. Living one day at a time, focused on myself, trusting HP, letting go of anger and resentment and letting God handle it, giving up gossip, and criticism, as well as working the steps, all worked together to affect my" attitude change."
I agree. I am all too human as well, and I can easily pull these negative attitudes back in, so I will continue to keep showing up, keeping an open mind, using the tools one day at a time
You are right we do have power and Al-Anon gives us the positive power that we need to live life with courage, serenity and wisdom .
never ceases to amaze me hotrod the layers of deeper understanding .. from Friday until today I have had so much serenity (joy) presence of hp .. someone shared in the meeting tonight about what 'removes them from the presence of hp .. it was powerful too .. gossip criticism attitude all that stuff which takes them out of the present moment of the presence of hp .. boy do I know this one all too well ... all the things I did (pre-steps especially) to remove me from the present moment of hps presence .. now I am reflecting on that this week .. in those darker times of fear & confusion .. what am I doing to remove myself yet again .. I too can Still think my attitude (words I tell myself or others) is who I am .. every time I Begin that obsession wheel I remove myself yet again .. still coming to believe I can choose to spin it (or not)
think in letting go this week I have been doing a lot of reflecting ..what is it I still need to 'learn to let go of .. Me .. My obsession my (hangover) fear confusion doubt control .. it's a never ending process but yes the tools help to check us and we begin to 'see it .. I wondered what would be left of me too .. insanity .. I didn't know how to do no disease .. I am still working at it .. when it comes to the action piece .. that is what I need to reflect on so much these days .. with all this wisdom we cumulate through other members .. what then is it in me that makes me still fear doing some things different .. still a work in discovery here .. learning really about me ..
I have always loved & appreciated your shares & wisdom .. Your time in & working the steps helps so much .. thanks for being here ..
