The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had an epiphany and wanted to share, because when you have suffered for a long period of time and have emerged a better person, the need to share becomes very important and the part of the last step in the Al-Anon protocol.
I am not a very verbose person so you may find this short and sweet, but very to the point .....
What helped me the most, to absorb the Al-Anon teachings more readily, was truly understanding the disease of Alcoholism. If there is one thing that allowed me to progress and help myself, it was first, understanding the disease, once I did that everything else fell into place. When you understand and empathize with the individual in your life that is an Alcoholic, all the walls drop,enabling you to lose the resentment/fear and begin the steps that lead to really becoming an independent person, a person who can lovingly detach and move on with their life.
I accept that alcohol dependency is a disease, for which there is no controlling. It is no different than any other disease, if a person does not go for medical help you can not force them! The individual in my life must make the decision on their own to fight it and seek help. I cannot manipulate or control that indivdual in order to get them to stop drinking.
Boundaries are very important in the relationship with an Alcoholic so that the abuse will not be tolerated and my serenity will not be sacrificed. I have learned how to not engage with an out of control Alcoholic, by removing myself from the room and/or the house for a period of time.
I rely on my HP for guidance and on Al-Anon to help me be a better person.
Thank you to all the Service Workers on MIP for helping me begin and continue the process of healing!
{{HUGS}}
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Dear Debb, thank you for sharing your process and wisdom. I agree that acceptance of the fact that alcoholism is a disease led me to the acceptance of other important details associated with the disease.
I also found that setting up principles for myself to live by, a.k.a. boundaries, protected me from engaging with irrational and destructive behavior.
I am so pleased that you have found the faith in your HP and have learned to listen with an open mind and practice practice, practice.
Thank you Betty. I can see and empathize with everyone who is just starting this journey! Alot of times the process of healing, is very slow and arduous when one doesn't completely understand that Alcoholism is a disease, but once the pervertible light bulb goes on .... it sets the healing process in motion!!
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Nice to hear good news Debbs... I shared a while back about attending Alanon in Rapid City SD. They had people there doing their 12th step!
I think as members we need to demonstrate what a Step 12 looks and feels like. it is much easier, and simpler than most people think! I really enjoyed your share...
Im happy for you debb. Is this a spiritual awakening?
I found this too, accepting that people, not just alcoholics, had their own pain and issues has meant i have been able to accept people for who they are and not build resentme ts which only ever hurt me in the first place. I also got relief learning that the alcoholics in my life are not bad or never delibrately set out to hurt me. They are suffering from a thinking disease and they are suffering and it could have been me. This awareness led me to compassion and forgiveness and as i progressed through this it felt like weight fell from my shoulders and i got lighter and free. This is the biggest gift in my eyes.x
Ive just realised that maybe i could have hated and resented my ex ah forever but my sons issues helped me to really want to u derstand and learn more.
Thank you David and El-cee! Yes it has been an awakening, the whole process has been a spiritual awakening! Yes David, sharing the 12th step allowed me to give back and hopefully help someone the way I have been helped!
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Nice to hear good news Debbs... I shared a while back about attending Alanon in Rapid City SD. They had people there doing their 12th step!