The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
...I'll mind my own business and you can mind yours...?
Sometimes group business is everyone's business. That is, if we are a group member.... I think that is the crux of the traditions...
...in our lives our power boundaries are all messed up. As a kid i took quite a lot adult responsibility, and the adults in my world did not show a lot of responsibility sometimes.
Other times they tried to patch things up and show some responsibility. To a kid that didn't often seem fair. I wanted to be an adult who lead by example...
Alanon teaches me to do this... I always said that the steps gave me a heart and the traditions gave me a backbone.
My So and so [wife] had a serious life threatening addiction... the is more or less physically well now, after over two years... but there are still emotional wounds imo...
...for her to get well I had to let her take responsibility... my family did not teach me this... my family background, as with many of us, left me ignorant and vulnerable...
...I had to learn to love my family, despite that, for how else could I learn to love myself?
For me boundaries have as much to do with power issues, as it has to do with sexuality. [Sometimes both components work together.]
I learn about true friendship, and trust, in a climate of simple and humble emotion... these I can take into my world and but into practise.
Dear David, thank you so very much for your thoughts on the Traditions as well as the slogan Llive and Let Llive. As I reflected on your message, I realized that I learned to practice live and let live at face-to-face meetings. It was here that I first put into practice my not judging, critiquing or advising another. I learned to simply be present, live and let live.
The traditions did teach me how to interact in a group in a healthy fashion. Since there are no leaders in Al-Anon and we are all trusted servants. I did not have to compete with the leader to prove I was smarter, I just had to be equal to others and share my experience, strength and hope.
The traditions also taught me about the common welfare being important and how to maintain the unity of the group, while keeping my individuality. That is a tall order, but with Al-Anon tools, such as detachment, keeping the focus on myself and placing principles above personalities iIt is possible
Yeppers I agree with ending statement and relate soundly to the post David. Mahalo. I am also so very grateful to my family of choice...said those exact words this weekend at my home group. (((hugs)))
