The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I'm seeing a lot of things differently in recent days and one of the big ones is My Daughter's Father. Daughter's Father was a drinking drugging specialist throughout high-school (we were friends) and throughout our later 8 year relationship and marriage. But he sobered up afterwards and somehow I missed the isms and dry-drunk stuff and just decided he was "better". It's really coming to a crisis point now and I am going to have to deal with it so, here are my rambly thoughts and memories about this situation that requires drastic change and, I think, some ability to deal with confrontation by me, at last. I'm just processing this out loud if that's OK, it might not make a lot of sense.
NOTE-I'm glad I wrote what was here, it helped me clarify a lot last night and in fact I took action on it today after further harassment and I feel really good about it. It's the first time I have really stood up to the people involved and not felt worried or second guessed myself. I've stipulated no more contact unless daughter wants to go and see him in which case I will assist her.
However I have deleted all the rambling venting stuff because I don't think it needs to exist in cyberspace now.
Thanks
-- Edited by missmeliss on Sunday 1st of March 2015 04:07:08 AM
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Great share melly. I look at myself as the doormat come alive!
It takes a lot of inside work and alanon to face your abusers. Keep getting
Stronger in yourself, have your daughter go to alateen if she will.
You have suffered a lot of abuse at the hands of people you should
Have been able to trust. You have been thru the wringer with them.
They can not define you as a person but left their mark.
Have you ever gone to domestic violence womens support groups?
I bet that would help you. There is nothing wrong with going to different
Groups to help. We are all different or go to a drug and alcohol
Therapist. You are a survivor!
You are a good woman and mother, doing the best with can. I applaud
you but all this internal changing takes time. It is hard soul searching
work.
Bullys do not change their spots only get worse over time.
I keep my abusers at bay but they know which buttons to push to
Make us feel bad. My mother is the queen. When you are young
So much happens that you are powerless over and it does so much
Damage to your self esteem and self worth. Stuff you can not see
Or reach but that is inside of you.
You are a strong woman keep getting stronger. That is your revenge
Against your abusers and bullies. Do not let them push you around!
Dear MSM. That was certainly a powerful share. It sounded like a complete fourth, fifth step and six step on this issue. I could feel your confidence.,
determination, and acceptance of the past as well as a tremendous love for your daughter.
Letting go of the pain of the past left so much room for the good stuff to enter and comfort me I am glad you ar working on this
Your hard work in program has certainly paid off and your daughter is very fortunate to have you in her corner.
Please keep up your assets and gratitude lists and validate your self at every opportunity. You are a fantastic treasure and I see that you were just beginning to appreciate that.
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