The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's so hard to be so in love with someone who is toxic and an addict. Are those even two separate things? The other morning I was reading my c2c and I found August 19th:
"There was a piece of reality that I never wanted to see: I loved someone who couldn't be trusted." These words whispered to me, then screamed out to me, comforted me. I love my man, he is a gentle spirit and a wonderful soul. But he is a troubled addict and he is hurting me emotionally, spiritually and financially. He started attending AA in January and his IS trying but I need time to heal and in reality he needs time too.
I want to thank everyone on this board for being so supportive, just reading a bit every day helps so much! I found another meeting that fits into my schedule and that makes 3 a week and I am LOVING it! So much support and so much understanding. ((hugs)) to all, especially myself.
I know where your coming from but I also know where you need to get to....and that is taking care of you while he learns to take care of himself. It's doesn't take long to feel some release with what little tools you have so far. Good job!!
But remember to keep coming back so you will never lose sight of the goal of happiness.
(((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
That's great, greener! And I always remember, decisions are always for today. A lot of things can change over time including circumstances, behaviors, maturity, and decisions. And sometimes they don't. One day at a time!
That is great. I had to move out of my home because whenever I would ask my AH to leave, he would keep coming back. I hope this doesnt happen to you. You might have to change the locks? I also loved someone who couldnt be trusted. the bad outweighed the good in my marriage. I had to make a change.
i can really relate to your post. I asked my AH to move out twice before, he had an affair while he was gone...two weeks after....such a self-centered behavior. we were still very much married. he begged to come back and I of course took him back. but he lied for a whole year tellling me it was a one night thing. anyway without AA he went back to his old behavior. we were not happy. he had a near death experience while drunk and then finally started AA. in the beginning it was all about him and how great he is because he is sober and in AA. more self centeredness. this time I moved out. what a great decision this has been. my new home is such a healing place for me. at first my AH was angry (of course) and now 6 months later we are in a better place! Miracles do happen!. His anger has subsided and he kind of gets me for the first time in our long relationship, we have been together for 35 years. we are both working our programs. I'm still living apart from him and we are sort of "dating." One Day at a Time...Alanon has been so good for me. I have work to do and I need to work on trusting him and more important trusting my higher power. Good luck to you! I hope my post helped you in some way.
