The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been a way for a few weeks from posting, needed to clear my head about a lot of things.
I still talk to my ex ABF on the phone, but it clearly isn't the same and I don't feel the way I used to about him. For all that don't know, I was involved with a man for a year and a half, and found out he was a heavy drinker, to the point of passing out on a regular basis. We didn't live together and fortunately don't have children together, so for me, choosing to end it wasn't complicated. Only for my heart. When I realized that, although he is going to AA regularly, he wasn't really putting himself into it, and still was drinking.
I went on a date last night, with a man that I knew from high school. I used to be best friends with his next door neighbor, and hope to God that he doesn't or didn't know how much of a crush I had on him. LOL We are both 50, and life has taken us many different places, and clearly made us both grow.
It was an eye opener for me, how different he is from my ex ABF and further reinforced how toxic my previous relationship was. We had dinner, laughed, and actually talked, and it was so refreshing. He took me bowling, and I lost, terribly. He is funny, honest and open about his losses and successes in life, and doesn't seem to be dragging a ton of baggage behind his truck.
I don't know where it will go, if anywhere, and don't care. I just had fun, and deserve that. Being out with a man and not feeling like the conversation is spinning is circles was the best thing ever.
Good for you Kat. When we are wrapped up in an alcoholics life we lose perspective on how life can be happy and peaceful. It's refreshing isn't it? A smile is contagious, surround yourself with happy people.
Great news Katrina Glad to see you are back and experiencing life one day at a time, with your new found powerful alanon tools.
Please keep coming back You and your life are worth it .
Good for you Kat! I have lots of empathy for the still sick and suffering alcoholic, but for me, I could not date one again....ever. My husband has some issues in his past...divorced parents, alcoholic dad, some other family drama, physical challenges....At first I was like "Uhoh!" every time I heard something challenging because I was waiting to see him use those things as an excuse to self-sabotage or engage in some unacceptable behavior. I still have not seen it. It would seem that he just learns from his experiences and moves forward....go figure. The ex-A was a never ending sob story of drama and crap that had happened to him to make his life so bad...it was like he was in an alcoholic spider web and he was ensnared and couldn't get out. Glad I just cut myself out of that web and just started flying again (forgive my cheesy metaphors lol).
Aww, that sounds sweet Kat. So glad to hear you did something enjoyable for yourself. I have decided that after my divorce if I even choose to date again, I will have a NO DRAMA policy, LOL.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I'm so glad you went out and had some fun! And don't worry, we've got this whole anonymity thing here, so you can safely tell us how much of a crush you had on him lol!
