The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am looking out my window watching more snow fall,we are getting a lot of snow again today.I am feeling like a caged animal.I have been thinking a lot about where I am at and what I like and don't like,I guess it is from paying attention to my needs for a change.I don't really love where I live,it is comfortable and familiar,but it isn't a place with a lot to offer as far as the economy or the weather,In fact our state ranks the highest for depression,our economy is one of the poorest.We have long dreary winters and not much of a summer.On the up side it is beautiful and we have a low crime rate.I am definitely a summer girl,I lived in the south for a while,I liked it.I have some friends in the south,some of the best friends I have ever had.I haven't been able to develop those kind of friendships here for some reason.I have always dreamed of having a little shop of some sort,I am a decorative artist and it is my passion,but unfortunately the economy here just won't support it,I am considering another state,of course that is a big decision in itself,I guess I am wondering about making decisions like that,how do you know when it is right?I guess I am unsure of myself because of all my other decisions,they haven't been the best,but then I have usually made them based on what my partner wanted.I feel like I haven't really enjoyed my life,or done things for me and I am afraid time is running out.I feel very restless and frustrated,like I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing,I go through the motions,but am I happy,No.
Hi Mary~I understand your share. It sounds like you are going through the motions but not taking the steps you want to take. I would say I was miserable for most of my life, until recently thanks to program. I used to need to shop or go somewhere or have a great plan to fill the void and empty place inside my heart and mind. After practicing my tools consistently, I can be happy just staying home with my animals. I do have plans and goals, which even include moving, but I have been able to be still and feel good and gratitude. And I still live with my A and my happiness is no longer dependent on her. My good feelings depend on me. When I was newer to program I just didn't understand these ideas but now I get it! Keep on working, it works, Lyne
I agree with lyne, happiness, contentment, getting rid of that restlessness is an inside job. Focusing on your surroundings and seeing the negative is coming from your own attitude. I can relate to that feeling of wanting to run away because..... add in anything really but it was me i was running from, looking inside to see who i was and filling the empty hole with outside solutions. My empty hole is much smaller and its thanks to this program. I think a move from one place to another if its a positive thing to enhance your life is good. Its all about our motives.
-- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 21st of February 2015 06:50:58 PM
Also your are struggling with growing pains and
Awareness. It is a journey of growth within our
Selves and our truths. It can very painful and we
Want to stop the deep pain that surfaces.
I have faced so many truths with my grieving and
Recovery at the same time it really makes me very
Uncentered and unsettled.
I like normalcy and structure. I am comfortable
With that and it makes me feel safe and sure
Footed but that is not how my life is going and
I need to ride it out.
