The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my wife started drinking heavily! she would drink until she passed out! always around our 16yr old daughter, I talked and asked her to stop and get help! but she refused! I asked to leave and think things thru. no matter how hard I tried no matter how I pleaded for her to get help it just got worse! now she is dragging my daughter down with her! I feel less than ZERO! again!
I'm sorry you are going through this, this sounds like a very rough time for your family. In Al Anon, we do the same 12 steps that you have probably heard of from AA. The first step is where we admit that we are powerless over alcohol. It sounds like you are starting to reach that conclusion. In Alanon we use the Serenity prayer where we ask for the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. If you go to some Al Anon face to face meetings you should be able to gain the clarity to know what you can and canno t change about your situation.
Great to hear Floyd. Keep coming back here, there is lots of good wisdom here on these boards. Reading recent and old posts I have learned a lot here.
Also, we have online meetings twice a day if you are interested in that. See the upper-left-hand corner of this page for more info. The chat room is also very good outside of meeting hours, there is quite often a few people on there, especially just after meetings.
Floyd just keep going to meetings listen, learn and absorb
The wisdom. It all takes time to get centered again. We lose
Ourselves in this disease and need to learn tools and coping
Skills to live by for us.
Loving detachment and good boundaries With consequences
Are some of the tools but it takes time to learn and get healthy
Ourselves.
Alanon is about us and our healing from the disease. It is not
About the addict. There is alateen for your daughter if she is
Wiling to go.
Alanon is about our self love,self care and self acceptance with
The help of our own higher power. Your wife has her own
Higher power and her program for recovery is AA, Alanon is
For you.
I am happy you are attending ftf mtgs they are essential to
Get us out of the denial of the disease and begin to heal for
Ourselves. As you begin to grow an change maybe there will
Be a willingness in your wife to do so. But you can not force
Her willingness or changes.
One of the few men I met in early program was a Floyd...good to see the memory again. I just want to add that it is okay to take your daughter with you to a meeting just for information especially if Alateen is not available in your area. Alateen is a part of Al-Anon and we use the tools interchangeably. Take your daughter with you without trying to convince her of anything other than what she can already see with her eyes. What she feels and thinks, if she has not honestly shared it with you is her own business. She can share that with the fellowship also as she is able. Youngest Alateen I've met in an Al-Anon meeting was 12 and she had surprising awareness.
Welcome Floyd...keep coming back as often as you want and bring your growth and recovery with you. That is how we keep each other healthy. ((((hugs))))
