This is my first post.  My Mom is an alcoholic and has been all my life.  She has had sporadic periods of sobriety over the years.  Her cycle is to drink until disaster strikes, get into treatment, stay sober long enough to start earning some trust back and then start drinking secretly.  I always find out when it starts spiraling.  Despite knowing I can't control her behavior, and knowing her pattern, it's always disappointing.  The thing is that I've worked really hard to learn healthy boundaries, and how to deal with my mom with loving detachment.  I know I can't control her behavior or drinking.  I know she's sick.  In my mind I know all of this.  But it still hurts my heart.  I love my mom.  I want more for her.  It makes me sad that she is losing out time with her grandchildren.  And I'm so tired of having this constantly be part of my life.  I'm exhausted and sad.  Sometimes, I want to walk away from her but I'm an only child and her only support.  Even when I do take a break I'm still her emergency contact.  It's always my phone that rings with the cops, hospital, detox on the phone.  Also my Dad was an alcoholic.  We were estranged when he passed away and that has been difficult for me to deal with.  I'm afraid of that happening with my Mom.  Not really sure why I'm posting this.  I don't have a specific question.  I'm so worn out.  I guess I'm looking for some support.