The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The movers are coming in an hour. I have most of my stuff at the new house but tonight will be our first night over there....dog included, lol. I have no idea what my future holds but I am working through a lot of fear and, of course, exhaustion right now. It's been a long two weeks and I'm ready for them to be over so that I can move on. I woke up with a nasty sore throat, too, so I'm hoping it clears up and is just allergy related because I still have a lot to accomplish today and for the next few days, too.
So, now about those expectations. Everyone in my group of Al Anon friends knows what's going on this week. A few offered to help but when I told them what day I was moving, no one could help because of work or kids, which I understand. Yet, I have not received one text or phone call of support from anybody in program, not even my sponsor(whom I did text last night and I phoned the day before because I knew she was at work and she never responded). My family has texted me beautiful words of support, a few of my tennis mom friends have sent me supportive messages and offered to help, and an old friend of mine from Bible study sent her husband and teenaged son over last night to help me move some yard furniture and decorations and then they decided to help me move some boxes, too.
I guess I got my feelings hurt. I understand that people are busy so I don't expect them to drop everything and come help me, but I would think that program people who have known me for 3 years would at least text or call to just send a supportive message. Again, I know I know....expectations. Sigh....it's just weird. And, I don't make excuses for people anymore so I know I just have to accept that that is what the friendship and support group looks like for today and move on.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Well consider this a message of support from a program person!!!!
I know very well the stress and exhaustion you are feeling and I can also tell you that there is some very sweet relief coming, maybe not today or tomorrow but very, very soon when you realise, everything is in place, the move is completely done and you find yourself with a few hours spare at last...
Congratulations on starting your new life!!!!
(((Andromeda)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I love what Ms. M wrote above and just want to send you support on this big day. The stress of it will soon be behind you and when you take that big breath of freedom come here and let us know how sweet it is. I loved my first little place just me and my girls. So glad for you on your new journey, I hope it is all you wish it to be. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
What part of the city are you moving to? I'm happy for you and know how hard it is to move. Let me know if I can bring you anything after work....I can be here for a few hours this evening if you need help unpacking.
Just let me know...
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Hopefully it's just a collective oversite on your friends part. I know I care deeply for friends but often drop the ball on showing it..
I'm sorry and thanks for the reminder that I need to be a friend to have friends... I'm good with words of support but often miss the practical things like this!
Yes, Glad, I'm sure that's part of it. I drop the ball a lot but do my best to reach out when I know people are going through scary changes, etc.
Cathy, I am just moving over to West Wing area which is basically Jomax and Lake Pleasant Parkway. Way out in the boonies backing up to the desert again. I saw a coyote in my new neighborhood yesterday AM, too!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Here is a message of support from program person. I wish I could be there in person to help, believe me, rather be there helping you move than in the 32 degree days here!
It is going to be a hard day or two, but will be worth it very quickly I am sure!
Well done andromeda, its a pretty couragous thing you have done. I see alanon as more the emotional support rather than the practical stuff. It seems to be that way in my group anyway. I hope you have a great first night.x
I have been wondering how you've been doing, but figured that the first of the month was the moving day and that you were busy with moving stuff!
I bet it will feel strange but so peaceful, that first night when you're fully moved in. Maybe you could do something wild and daring to celebrate - leave the fridge door open while you pour the milk, or watch "Outlander" on the TV.
Friends are a strange thing. It seems unpredictable whether they will rally when there's something big going on. I recently had the death of someone close to me, and my local friends hardly mentioned it at all. But I have friends in another state and in another country, and they were amazing - sending me daily e-mails, writing the most heartfelt messages, sending me little things. Who would have thought it would work out like that?
Meanwhile, though, one local friend was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, and another one lost a member of her family, and I wasn't really there for them the way I should be. It's not that I don't care for them very much. Somehow my own stuff just got in the way and I was drowning, even though it looked like I was doing fine. I feel really bad about it, but the moment seems to have passed (both are now beyond the crisis). It all seems so random.
I guess that's why we have friends in all kinds of different ways and places. We on the boards are sending you much strength and celebration at your move and your new freedom! And continuing support in the months ahead as you blaze your trail.
Its really easy to say - if there is anything I can do, let me know. Unfortunately as you said, we live busy lives - I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible; here's looking forwards to that moment when you are done enough for the day and can relax and find peace.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I am so happy for you Bonnie! You did it ! Your HP has
Your back more good things will come your way.
My home group of alanon is supportive when you are at the
Meetings but most of the people are over achievers and
Business owners. They have a lot going on in their lives.
Now if you were in AA they are forever moving and helping
people get from one point to another it seems. Maybe its
because there are More men And pickup trucks? AA is a
More helping based program.
Thanks everyone. What Mattie said about friends really resonated with me. I did reach out and started a group message text yesterday and got some wonderful verbal support from friends in program. Also, 2 or 3 of the girls are coming over on Saturday to help me put together a bookcase and nightstand and to help me hang some pictures, shelves, etc.
My son slept great last night. The dog.....ugh...what a pain. He woke me up 3 times last night walking around, going out the dog door, jumping on the bed but then deciding he wanted to sleep in his crate, etc. He is now sitting by the front door whining because he wants to join the outdoor world: chase rabbits, run with the coyotes, walk with the neighbors, and send the neighborhood kids off to school!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I keep reaching out that is how it works. No one is a mind
Reader we need to take care of ourselves and help ourselves
With Supportive and good people and of course Our HP.
Agreed, I have a tendency to get my feelings hurt under such circumstances, and just say something like "Well, I don't really need you, I'll just take my ball and go home" which just is an excuse to become isolated, which I apparently truly love, because I use many excuses to get into isolation!
