Hi missunwritten and welcome to MIP. You are among people who know the pain you are feeling. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Alcoholism is a demonic disease that latches onto its victims and hangs on tight. It's victims are not only the alcoholics but also the family and friends of the alcoholics. We, the nondrinkers, become so manipulated by the disease and this causes our lives to spin out of control. Al-Anon can help you regain control of your own thinking and behaviors. I remember my first meeting. I can only say I went in completely broken ready to die, and I left with hope. Al-Anon can help you learn how to focus on you and take care of you. Please try to attend face to face meetings as soon as you can. 

Take care of you and let God take care of you dad.

((missunwritten)) 

Welcome to Miracles in Progress, thank you for sharing your concerns and deep felt pain. We who live with the problem of alcoholism understand as few others can so that we can truly identify with what you are experiencing and feeling.. You have received several powerful responses and I would just like to confirm the fact that Alcoholism is a progressive, fatal, chronic disease over which we are powerless.

In order to regain our own sanity and develop new healthy tools to live by Al-Anon meetings are the safest place to attend and develop these attitudes. Face-to-face meetings are held in most communities and I urge you to check the white pages for the hotline number.

You asked what it's like to attend face-to-face meeting and here is an explanation:

For many first timers, it can be very nerve-racking and sometimes even downright scary to walk into a room filled with strangers, knowing full well that the only reason you are there is to talk about the problem drinker in your life....we know, we've all been first timers once too and will likely never forget the fear and anxiety of taking those couragous steps into an Al-Anon meeting for the very first time.

But by the mantra of our Serenity Prayer, your first steps into the room already prove that you have the
COURAGE TO CHANGE...There are several different types of meeting formats but regardless of what type of meeting you attend, they are all for the purpose of giving people a place to recover from the despair, hopelessness, anger and resentment that is caused by the family disease of alcoholism. Here are some examples of the types of meetings held in Al-Anon:

General Discussion/Regular Meeting (Closed): a topic is chosen by the volunteer chairperson and each person in the room has an opportunity to share their thoughts on the topic and reflect how they've behaved or grown from the idea as the result of learning Al-anon principles. "Closed" means that only Al-anon members are permitted to attend. This is the most commonly found meeting format.


General Discussion/Regular Meeting (Open): The only difference here is that "Open" means that non-members are permitted to attend the meeting. The purpose in allowing this is so that students, therapists, and even your friends whom you might want to support you can have the opportunity to learn more about the family disease of alcoholism and see how Al-anon aids in the recovery of family and friends.


Step Meetings: In these discussion meetings, the topic that is chosen will pertain specifically to one of the studied 12 Steps. Practice of the Steps and Traditions is essential to our recovery so attending these types of meetings can help you gain a much better understanding of their philosophies.


Speaker Meetings: In this meeting format, none of the members have an opportunity to share, but instead have the opportunity to listen to the one perdetermined person who will share their entire story. These meetings are a wonderful way to hear about the struggles of others and find out how they have applied Al-anon to their lives to change attitudes and journey to recovery and serenity.


Beginners Meetings: People who are brand new to Al-Anon are often referred to as "Newcomers" and many meetings have a specific welcome statement that is read specifically for the new person in the room. Beginners meetings are different than regular discussion meetings in that, it is not restricted to just 1 person sharing at a time and then moving onto the next. Instead, it's an open forum where everyone in the room can have a regular conversation (cross-talk) while learning 6 basic parts of the Al-Anon program. In other words, you'll have a chance to engage in a give-and-take conversation with the others in the room and start to understand the philosophy of how Al-Anon works.
Beginners are welcome at ANY meeting format, there is no right or wrong meeting for you to attend...all you need is the courage to change and Al-Anon can guide

Thank you all for your kind words of support. They all meant so much to me and have brought me such comfort.

I know it will be beneficial for me to attend a meeting as soon as possible (luckily we have multiple Al-Anon groups in my town) so I am planning to attend one next Tuesday. Maybe I will make a followup post to let you all know how it went. I know I need to take the steps to cope with all of this in order to move on. I wrote a letter to my dad about a week ago, in hopes that it would bring me some sort of closure (it did not), explaining to him that I loved him but until he makes the decision to get help and seeks treatment I will not talk to him or be around him. It breaks my heart to have to do it to him because it is my dad, but I know that it is the healthiest decision for me. I can no longer continue to let his alcoholism affect my life. Hopefully, my first meeting will be a step in a more positive direction and hopefully I can begin my much needed healing process.

Again, thank you all for your kind words and advice, I truly appreciated every one. :)