The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband is a recovering addict/alcoholic. He also struggles with chronic pain, and sometimes overuses his pain meds (in my opinion.) I try to "detach" from his slogged demeanor on those occassions, but it really bothers me to see him that way. It reminds me of when I was young and my dad was drunk. I feel anxious.
I tried asking my hubby to move out, but that didn't work because in the end, I still love him and told him to stay.
So I suppose I need to go to more meetings, attend my church studies and go to the gym. I always need more recovery and insight.
Thats what I did back in Oct. I thought it should have been my A husband's bottom but it was mine. I joined a new Church (pastor is related w/AA), joined 2 AlAnon meetings (Wed night Step which I just recently committed myself to and a Sat morn) and joined Curves. They are part of my weekly routine now. I figure these 3 things help to take care of the physical, spiritual and emotional.
Also will be at WDW 3days solo end of March and an AlAnon convention beginning of April. This detachment from my A husband came along at a time when my 13yr son wanted to hang out more with his friends and less with his mother. Its my time now to "get a life"
Detaching is a really hard thing to do. I had a hard time because my life was so intertwined with his. I didnt know where my life started and how to pull away. I have a really good sponsor and by working the steps I can now say I am getting me back. She told me this was a way of detaching. Some things are easier to detach from than others, but we learn to do it one step at a time. You are doing good in finding ways to help yourself and i am sure that you will feel much better for it. you are a inspirition. thank you.
Hi, Terascot, So glad you are here. It's part of getting a life, detaching, and growing. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, and you'll be surprised what happens. Do something good for yourself every day! It works, if you work it! Blessings, mebjk
I have found detaching to be crucial for me. I have more energy now to look at my life and focus on me. I do care for the A but I was over involved with him and his life and he would often abandon and dump on me. I would then get very very angry.
I have found the meetings here and this message board to be a lifeline of many sorts. I also feel cared about, known and that I belong here. Most of my life I have never felt like I belong anywhere I am glad that I found a place here. I find that sustains me on a lot of days when I previously felt totally abandoned by the A.
I have yet to be able to detach from my A. It sucks. I'm way to dependent on him and he really doesn't need me being dependent on him right now since he is trying to quit drinking.
