My x was in the Air Force during the Viet Nam Crisis. He never left the states and on base and off base that is where he got some of his best "drunks" on. For all the years I was in Al-Anon, there was never a time I had to worry about what other people thought about him or if they'd find out he was an alcoholic/drug addict. The entire meeting was always about me and everybody else in the room. Although I might have known some folks in the room by their profession or their qualifier's profession, it didn't matter to me or the others in the room. We were having a hard time recovering from the effects of the same disease that was slowly killing our loved ones. Our focus was on us and one another. I encourage you to attend meetings regardless of your husband's profession. It is no secret to the military that some of their members are As. They been dealing with that for a long, long time. You also don't have to reveal anything personal about yourself or your spouse that can help to identify your profession, your marital status, your last name, your family's name, your address, etc. Our meetings are hosted in such a way we focus on a Step or Topic for the hour we're together. You actually are reading more here than I ever share or hear in meetings. For me, our board is more like the meeting after the meeting. Al-Anon meetings can truly benefit you while at the same time safeguarding your anonymity. Come back here, too.