C2C January 27 - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · ~*Service Worker*~

C2C January 27

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for this share Kathleen. I love that you pointed out that the C2C reading today suggests that we not making big deals out of small stuff. It reminds me of the saying :"Do not sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff" I can also identify with mind reading and thinking that an action means something different than the simply answer. Stay in reality and examine my own motives works.
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It also stresses the fact that the entire purpose of Al-Anon is to help us iron out the rough spots in living and that can be done only one day at a time

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks, Kathleen. I really appreciated you seeing dirty dishes as neglect rather than a sign of disrespect. I've read this page over and over again. I've never thought of it in that way.

My issues had more to do with minimizing what was happening in my life than going ballistic over spilled milk, dirty dishes or other things that to me weren't a big deal and still aren't, I don't want to hurt their feelings, what will happen to them if I move on? I was being abused mentally, emotionally and physically and kept telling myself I could take it, things would get better, I could work it out. None of what I told myself was true. It just helped me stay in a situation that was killing me. When I was able to listen to myself and to see the danger my kids could also be in, I could make tremendous changes that moved me out of pretending to myself that I could "take it." I couldn't. I still don't make a big deal over little stuff that isn't important like how neat or clean is my house, folks spilling something on my favorite wood table, or how grateful did people seem when I spent a week preparing for and then serving them their favorite meal - even when I don't like the food they do.

I do move myself out of situations and relationships that I know I can't handle and don't have to handle. I can be with people who treat me well. I don't have to hang out with people who can't or won't. One day at a time I listen to myself and what leads to my being grateful and what leads to my being hurt or hurtful. With the help of my HP I can make changes that are more in line with living a healthy and happy life and let go of those attitudes and habits and relationships that get in the way of treating myself as a valued and worthy person who is responsible for her own thoughts, feelings and behaviors and nobody else's.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 27th of January 2015 10:13:21 AM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 27th of January 2015 11:07:49 AM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 27th of January 2015 11:14:27 AM

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I spent many years tending to the small stuff and not tending to the big stuff, because that is what I believed I needed to do to keep the peace in my home. I lost myself, my values in this BS thinking. Now, thankfully, I tend to the big stuff, which isn't always what others believe to be the big stuff, but now others beliefs are a big SO WHAT smile

Thanks for the thread, Kathleen.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.