The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I wen't to my first Al Anon meeting yesterday, and it was very welcoming and felt great. I am wondering though, should I go to a meeting for Adult Children, since my father is the alcoholic in my life? Although I am 32 years old I don't know if it is meant for younger people. I just noticed at this meeting yesterday most people were there because of spouses and not parents.
Thank you!
xxx
-- Edited by Layla83 on Tuesday 27th of January 2015 01:31:46 AM
In my small town, we don't have meetings for Adult Alanon. We just have Alanon. It has never been a problem here. And many of the people I have met there have multiple "qualifiers." Someone might have an alcoholic mother and an alcoholic son. So I am not sure which one would be best, but I wouldn't think there would be any reason to feel like you HAVE to go to the Adult Child meetings.
Although I though of my exAH as my primary qualifier, like many others I had alcoholics going back in my family of origin (most prominently my father). I have never been to a meeting specific to ACOA but have always found meaningful shares and readings at Alanon meetings, regardless. I will be interested to hear from members who have been to ACOA meetings and how they may differ, if at all?
Hi. Welcome to MIP. My parents were not As, but each had one parent who probably was. I did go to ACOA meetings for awhile, but for me they weren't helpful because the membership seemed to want to focus on how their parents had done them wrong rather than looking at what their issues were and to work on those. Not all meetings are like that, I'm sure, but the meetings I went to turned me off. Al-Anon and CODA were two programs that were more helpful to me. We're not there to focus on anyone but ourselves and so there might be adults in the Al-Anon meeting that are affected by the alcoholism of their parents, but are sharing only about themselves. The goal as I understand it in Al-Anon is to heal from my own issues that are related or indirectly related to the disease of alcoholism. I still went to see for myself if ACOA was right for me and it wasn't. It wouldn't hurt to check it out for yourself, too.
I am an adult child of A's and I have found al-anon meetings more suiting for myself. You can go and try ACOA meetings as well as see what best fits you, I know people who attend both. It is your program to make work best suited for yourself. I am glad you brought this up, it can help others also that may have ACOA meetings near them as well as al-anon. MIP is my daily and my meetings are weekly. Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
We just have alanon too. There is a mixture at my meeting, adult children in their 60s, parents, spouses, siblings. The lot. The programs the same for all of us, i just listen to everyone and theres always stuff to relate to and use. There is a book that is more specific to adult children, hope for today.
Thank you so much guys! I will definitely try an ACOA meeting since they have one close to me, otherwise I will also continue to go to the one I went on this week! Thank you all!!! xxx
The responses of attend all of the open meetings which are available and the create your own choices is what worked for me. I was born and raised within the disease and am qualified for 12 step self help recovery. I have attended Al-Anon, AA, CODA and Children of. All of these have shed light on the disease of alcoholism in my life and Al-Anon and AA have been best at showing me what I can do about changing the affects of the disease in my life. The Al-Anon promise "If you keep and open mind you will find help" has been the first promise that came true for me. Open mindedness is a huge tool. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
So I wen't to my first Al Anon meeting yesterday, and it was very welcoming and felt great. I am wondering though, should I go to a meeting for Adult Children, since my father is the alcoholic in my life? Although I am 32 years old I don't know if it is meant for younger people. I just noticed at this meeting yesterday most people were there because of spouses and not parents.
ohhh LUCKY you , having an ACOA meet near you....we have ZERO around here, and ANY age can go...no matter the age, we all attend....older, younger, inbetween, don't let the acronym fool you, it is just adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families....ADULT is the first word...that told me, right there, that this was an "open" room......God how i wish they had them here...I tried to start one and we did some work for a while, meeting at this lady's house who had better accomodations than the rest of us and she screwed up our group wanting it to be bible 12 steps.....I thanked her for her hospitality in her home and i walked away......
as for alanon, I qualify several times...parents, ex spouses, siblings, friends....to qualify for alanon you must have had or are being impacted by the drinking of another....past or present tense......in the fac2fac meets i went to, yea, most of them just wanted to know how to cope with abuse, cheating, drinking, etc., i wanted to not just cope, but to overcome, to thrive, to do whatever i had to do to live a happier life......living w/active addicts, not in recovery wasn't my cup of tea then or nor will it be.....so it depends on the room...we had one real good one, but we lost our room......so group disbanded......i essentially go on line now....anyway, if you have an aca or acoa meet near you??? go and enjoy!!!!
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I don't have ACoA meetings in my area either. I'm working through issues of both, having an A parent and an A spouse. There is literature for ACoA's. I'm currently reading a book by Patricia O'Gorman, "12 Steps to Self Parenting". I'd also suggest the book, "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beatty.
For me personally, understanding codependency and abandonment and shame issues have been the key to setting my recovery on the forward moving path.
