The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thought provoking readings today in both the C2C and ODAT
Courage to Change speaks about keeping the focus on others and not paying attention to our own needs and wants. It points out that we neglected ourselves because we did not think we were worthy and did want others to see us as we were. I can identify with this thought. I never revealed myself to others but kept them off by asking questions of them and then exploring solutions's to their problems .
The reading provides fantastic hope. It points out that we are very human and deserving of attention, love end honor. That by "Keeping the focus" on ourselves, as program suggests, we regain our lost self esteem and self worth. We finally can see and accept our assets, the goodness that is within ourselves and our lives. It also suggests that by attending meetings and honestly sharing we gradually learn to talk about ourselves and by receiving the support from others, we finally learn to view our feelings, achievements and concerns as valid. What a gift. .
Great quote from Al-Anon spoken here: at meetings "We talk about the part we played in our problems and how we can and do change our attitudes and actions by applying the Al-Anon program to our lives"
I love meetings and being given to opportunity to share from my heart on any alanon related topic. It is so rewarding to look into my heart ( and not my mind) and reveal my inner self . The important alanon principle that fosters this and allows me to feel safe enough in this fellowship of equals is that at meetings we practice leaving our titles, or professions, our degrees outside the door. This is how we can discover Who we are,- I found I was not my job,my title, my degree my status as wife or mom, I was just a imperfect human being attempting to recover just like everyone else. . Thank you alanon
ODAT Speaks about before experiencing alanon philosophy we attempted to fix ourselves by eliminating any bad habit on our own. It points out that bad habits and compulsions cannot be fixed or rooted out because what would replace them. We need to develop new constructive tools to replace them .
Alanon gave me the replacements, Live one day at a time, do not project, let go of the past, eliminate blame , gossip and criticism and treat everyone with courtesy and respect as you place principles above personalities.
The quote is I have stopped trying to force myself to eliminate my faults when I found it did not work I found I had to replace them with something better."
Thanks Betty for continually sharing our daily meditations w us.sometimes I forget or don't read them. You are doing a great service to all of us. You are a real gem.
Thank you again, Betty, for taking the time to share today's readings and for your reflections on them.
The author in C2C's reading for the day said something about how s/he often used other people's problems as an excuse to avoid her own obligations. In my case that wasn't true. I handled my obligations and thought it was my job to help others handle theirs, too. In order to keep those balls in the air, I had to sacrifice something and that something was fun and play and just hanging out with others because I enjoyed them and I enjoyed me with them. I knew how I felt. I knew what I did. I knew what I wanted. I kept telling myself "one day." When my work and responsibilities were completed, one day I would have fun, play, enjoy myself. And then, one day, a good sponsor suggested doing something for fun every day. That helped me recognize my hunger just to be and to play. In order to do that, I was willing to tell myself, now is the one day. Now is the time for me to play, to have fun, to laugh, to love, to roll in the mud so to speak with other human beings, and to tend only to my own responsibilities without letting that default of "over responsibility" get in the way.
The ODAT reading for today brings up memories of me "working, working, working" on bad habits. I didn't seem to get anywhere. Of course, I couldn't, because that desire to work, work, work on myself was my ego/self will getting in the way of healing for me. Learning that our program is not a self help program but a self acceptance program was such a relief for me to hear. Recognizing that healing wasn't a "do it yourself project" didn't come easy and I'm so much better at relaxing into acceptance versus trying to beat myself into submission. One method works so much better than the other for me.
Thanks hotrod. I liked todays reading in the odaat. Its quite logical and makes sense to me, the idea of a vacuum being left when a shortcoming is gone but it cant work like that, unless its replaced by the opposite then the shortcoming will come back. I need to remember that one.x
we neglected ourselves because we did not think we were worthy and did want others to see us as we were.
by attending meetings and honestly sharing we gradually learn to talk about ourselves and by receiving the support from others, we finally learn to view our feelings, achievements and concerns as valid. What a gift. .
ODAT Speaks about before experiencing alanon philosophy we attempted to fix ourselves by eliminating any bad habit on our own. It points out that bad habits and compulsions cannot be fixed or rooted out because what would replace them. We need to develop new constructive tools to replace them .
to go to a meeting and be VALIDATED...not attacked..not dismissed...not ignored... was a freeing thing for me....I felt like i had rights!!!! and yea, now i can focus on me, my wants, feelings, needs, etc., and still be compassionate to others...i just don't absorb their situations......
and oh yea, i remember a saying...when you evict a tenant, you must move someone else in to replace.....spiritually, if i have an empty apartment, any ole thing can move in to fill that void..that emptiness....and its the same with my spirit and my thinking...I can not have a void...There must be "something" filling it , so b/c I have a choice, now, I choose to fill my "vacancies" with "tenants" of MY choice...Healthy ones!!!!!! this is so true.....
WOW!!!! Awesome readings.....waiting for my H4T book to come....amazon shipped it...so when it comes, I will read the daily and do my share on it.....got income tax folks wanting their refunds..I have a project on my desk and one coming so busy time is coming......but i will try to contribute as much as i can after i make sure i am getting proper rest from typing and thinking, LOL
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
And what I also loved about these readings in our literature is that mine are underlined from when I first got into program and came to understand within the rooms. I would come to understanding and underline the keys that brought me to it and now I get to smile with expectation when I read them again because they are as much true today as they were back then. I also love to hear others mention and discuss their own awareness on the same points because their shares fortify my own understanding.
I had to let go absolutely in order to allow the program and all of its tools including the fellowship into my life and then help me change it. "if you keep an open mind...you will find help". How simple that sounds and how powerful and blessed the consequences are as a result of learning how to do that. The definition for humility is being teachable. Open mindedness is required. Mahalo Betty and my family. (((((hugs)))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 25th of January 2015 01:59:08 PM
