The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The last couple of days my Ah have been arguing more than usual. I dealt w/ his abuse by yelling because at the time I thought that was the only way he would really hear me.So, I did the next right thing & called program friends, texted & called my sponsor.
One example of something he said was that he didn't like me hanging out w/ my friends.
This was an emotional roller coaster & has been an emotional roller coaster ride. One minute or so I was yelling & then later for quite awhile I was balling my eyes out. I don't recommend yelling to the point of exhaustion. But I feel crying heals my soul & releases some of the pain.
I am still sane & right now my Ah is still sober. He was upset because he was tired he said. I don't deserve what he dished out. I guess what he needed was to chill out & try to take a nap. But that doesn't excuse all the other times he called me names & cussed me out.
Today I am starting a new fresh day. I am going to have to turn this over & hope for the best for the future. I can only change myself. I don't know what the future holds but I know who holds the future. And besides he is already there.
Right now I am doing better & I am trying to have a positive outlook. Today we haven't fought yet.
Thanks to Al anon, I am facing the day hopeful & hoping for some serenity. I think I already have some as I am typing this.
I am learning to stay on my side of the street & let him(my Ah) be who he is by not yelling or judging or arguing. Like my sponsor said, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
I don't condone his behavior or mine. I just want peace & even a little space in my marriage. If he doesn't like what I am doing oh well, it's really none of his business. I hope he starts to mind his own.
That's enough out of me! I could go on & on. But for the grace of God I am still alive & sane. W/o God I am nothing,
Take what you like & leave the rest. That is my truth.
Now I will stop here, I can get very carried away,
Thanks for your honesty Kathleen We are all imperfect human beings doing the best we can. Be gentle with yourself, detach and continue to "stay your side of the street."
Glad to see you didn't fight with him today. That might be all that matters? Today? Hope your evening goes well, too. He can be grumpy and unreasonable but you don't have to be as you've stated in your thread above. You've got your program tools.
