The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
C2C reading for today speaks about the power of detachment. It points out that living with active alcoholism is confusing and unsettling so that we often develop negative coping tools in order to have some semblance of order in our lives. Some of these tools are destructive and we need to change them.
Taking over other people's feelings and lives hurts us because we are no longer focused on our own well-being. It is extremely important to learn how to"un- attach" or detach our feelings from that of others. . The first step towards doing this is to, keep the focus on ourselves, examine our motives, so that we can separate our feelings from that of the other person. Staying inside our own lives and taking care of our own feelings enable us to allow others the dignity of being responsible for their own feelings and their own lives.
Today I find that detachment comes easy. I treat everyone with courtesy and respect, stay inside my own skin and nourisher my own life. It works beautifully.
ODAT 1 22 is a very inspiring page that talks about the power of prayer. It suggests that often we pray for something that may not be the best for us.and it reminds us that we are only to able to see a little way as our vision is clouded.
We are reminded that if our problems are too hard for us to face, we don't have to explain them to God as He already knows about it. It is not necessary to struggle with it by ourselves so it is important to ask God to show us what steps to take. There is only one prayer required -, to ask for guidance. and courage and the power to act on the guidance, (the 11th Step).
hotrod wrote: The first step towards doing this is to, keep the focus on ourselves, examine our motives, so that we can separate our feelings from that of the other person. Staying inside our own lives and taking care of our own feelings enable us to allow others the dignity of being responsible for their own feelings and their own lives.
Today I find that detachment comes easy. I treat everyone with courtesy and respect, stay inside my own skin and nourisher my own life. It works beautifully.
ODAT It is not necessary to struggle with it by ourselves so it is important to ask God to show us what steps to take. There is only one prayer required -, to ask for guidance. and courage and the power to act on the guidance, (the 11th Step).
Oh yea, I can see loads of progress on detachment...I can feel empathy, compassion, but not absorb their situations.....love, but keep the focus on me and my own life........
the only prayer that makes sense.....the Serenity prayer.....this one u r referring to sounds like the big "S" prayer....
Hey Betty, I ordered hope for today from amazon.....Can I do shares on it??? Like read the passage and then share what i learned from that passage....like say "todays entry spoke to me about..................." and what i got from it???? is it ok??????
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Dear Neshema Yes Hope for Today is excellent . I owuld love it if you did That applies to any one else who would like to post on a CAL reading for the day.
I think it helps to start the day off with a postive Program concept
Please go for it :)
Thanks for this I needed to hear this again. My sober abfpicked up again six months ago and broke a boundary by staying out all night. I ended the relationship as he has been unfaithful in the past when active. I am taking each day and detaching working my programme trying hard to keep the focus on my life. He has been contacting me lately through his nieces account on face book. Liking my pics , he sent a message apologising. I told him I knew it was not personal his battle and to take care. It killed me I then blocked him from facebook I can no longer engage with an active a if he goes back to AA I will see how I feel then. But my hp is guiding me to get out of the way and do my own recovery work. Because I do have compassion and understand he is ill its hard to not contact him, but my higher power is load and clear in his guidance.
So detachment with love means no contact as of now as I care to much and get drawn back in all I can do is pray and try one day at a time to keep the focus on my life.
Thanks
Tracy
-- Edited by Tracy on Thursday 22nd of January 2015 09:35:26 AM
Dear Neshema Yes Hope for Today is excellent . I owuld love it if you did That applies to any one else who would like to post on a CAL reading for the day.
I think it helps to start the day off with a postive Program concept Please go for it :)
well, with work, i may not be able to do in am, but will get it on soon as i can........got C2C and ODAT and love your offerings on it.....so thought I would offer up H4T....I cut my teeth on H4T.............thanks Betty and thanks for starting this.......
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
The piece that strikes me is allowing others the dignity to experience for themselves. Even though I sometimes do it through white knuckling, I do this, most of the time. It is clean and freeing when this happens.
Learning to detach from the alcoholics in my life has given me peace. It was hard to accept it as the right thing but now ive seen how it works and is healthy for everyone. Ive been thinking a lot about detaching recently. I liked the odaat reading too, its comforting to know the fate of the world is not on our shoulders, we dont need to find answers.x
Teehee, elcee. "It's comforting to know the fate of the world is not on our shoulders..." As a mentor of mine once said to me: "Woe be to the people if YOU have a plan." Better to find my place in the world and just live it out than to think I know the answers for the world. Perhaps you didn't intend for your share to have a bit of humor in it, but for some reason I see wry wit in it. Thanks for helping me have my first giggle for the day. I can sometimes forget the truth you state.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 22nd of January 2015 12:59:53 PM
I was deadly serious, lol. I did think it was up to me to keep the peace, make sure everyone was happy. If there was tension anywhere it was my fault and my job to find the solution. Everything was my fault in my mind. I was nuts.x
I've been there, too, elcee. That's why I laughed. I recognized that in myself. I can laugh about it now and thank heaven for that particular mentor who spoke so plainly to me and loved me, too - it was true. Woe be to the people if I thought I knew what was best for them and for the world. Now, I'm just glad I know where I've put my keys. (((elcee)))
There is definately humour in the insanity. I think back to the way i thought before and its like im a different person. I can laugh now too thankfully and im no longer in that panic state of mind, looking for the solutions.
'Woe be to the people if YOU have a plan' !!!!@@@@@??!!!! *****
-- Edited by milkwood on Thursday 22nd of January 2015 01:41:36 PM
Oh yea, my "planning" consists of going to restroom, eating, breathing, bathing.....getting through the day as unscathed as possible.....anything beyond that is all subject to change.......
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thank you Betty! Detachment with love and dignity for myself and AH is a work in progress, but very attainable and much easier to achieve as of late! I am able to see and/or sense when AH has been drinking and diffuse the situation immediately without any resentment .... ahhh the freedom. Have noticed that, as I get better at detachment and resentment, I am more comfortable with me ... maybe because there isn't as much fear.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Good Work Debbie I am happy for you. This is not an easy principle to grasp and practice but once it becomes part of our recovery toolbox, it makes great sense and provides us with a serenity and wisdom.
'Woe be to the people if YOU have a plan' !!!!@@@@@??!!!! *****
Oh boy, I am laughing at that one Grateful
And we can't even find our keys!!!!!!
Please can I buy the movie rights to this? Pleeease???
-- Edited by milkwood on Thursday 22nd of January 2015 01:41:36 PM
Milkwood, I have a sneaky suspicion that I have been living that movie to some degree. Fortunately, I no longer want a starring role. If I forget that, I'll look around and notice that I really like being one in a cast of wonderfully wise and loving people - all stars in their own right - but not THE STAR. Love ya, sister, and the way your light sparkles.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 22nd of January 2015 02:23:07 PM
This is all possible because of MIP, Al-Anon and HP. So grateful for you all here on Miracles In Progress, could not have made this progress without you!
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
You know I'm a direct person, Paula, so to answer your question - No, your plan isn't the best - just like mine - but I sure like how you model program and being true to yourself. And let's not forget that inspiring artwork you so willingly share with us.
