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Today at work I had an interaction with a co worker that left me wondering if I was crazy. Why do I always end up pointing the finger at myself? Since I started Al anon, I have been more direct with co workers.
Basically, the coworker asked me if I needed help. I am a nurse. at first I said no...but then she mentioned I needed a certain check off list for a procedure my patient was getting. She was in a position today to go around and help people....and she is trained to take patients to this procedure...I am not. So I asked her if she could look in patients chart to see if his paperwork was there. she looked, then called me to tell me it wasnt there and the other department needed to send me the paper. I was busy charting at the time, so I asked her if she could call the department and ask them to send us the paper. She told me "No, you can do it." I then asked her if she was busy and she said yes. WHAT??? She just asked me if I needed help. I told her she was confusing because she asked if I needed help, I said yes, then she couldnt help me. She then proceeded to tell me " I dont want to enable people....we all need to learn how to do this." Do what??? Make a quick phone call??? anyone can do that!! So, I called the department and then they asked me what our fax number was...ok...which meant I had to walk quite a distance to where that nurse was just at, to look for our fax number. Ridiculous. So, I asked her to listen to my side of things. I told her that making a simple phone call for me was hardly enabling! She told me she was being asked to help someone else...which was within 3 minutes if her asking me if I needed help!
A long story short...I had a bad day. I hate it when people act weird. It made me feel sad the rest of the day. I will not be asking this person for help anymore, nor will I accept her offers. I am so tired of passive aggressive attitudes like this. this is what happens sometimes in my field....especially since I work with a lot of women...the poor doctor sitting near me (a man) proceeded to move a bit further away from me after he heard me talking to this co worker. But you know what? I am tired of dealing with crap like this. I will not be mentally abused at work. I really think it was rude and hurtful. I dont know...I guess the "enable" word got to me.
then...my lovely AH sent me an email of an article about how harmful divorce is for children...and how it is a myth that children are resilient. Ummmm ok....thanks for the guilt trip. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow. My solution is to ignore people.
-- Edited by Newlife girl on Monday 19th of January 2015 11:17:47 PM
-- Edited by Newlife girl on Monday 19th of January 2015 11:20:22 PM
Detachment is a great skill to be able yobuse at work, I've got plenty of experience with that. But also I'm getting to the point where people can't ruin my day like that. I step back and think about it, decide what can or can't be done, then do it and drop it.
At least that's what I *try* for. I'm getting more successful with more practice. There are always plenty of chances for exercise on this.
Great share Kenny Not giving away my serenity is key to my Spiritual survival so I do not surender it easily. How important is it and Let Go and Let God works for me
When this is happening to me and I find it happens more often with women than men collectively, I need to take time out to feel my feelings and respond, usually It works for me to run this past someone I trust and ask them for their opinion on what they perceived just happened, for myself I need fair play, more often than not I conclude that it usually is someone else trying to spike me, and to deal with that I look at this as them showing me who they are, with this lesson I know to be careful around this person and try to remain professional and composed, my response is what alters the outcome for me, usually the people that act out this way do it to others too, or target the people they know they can get arise out of.
I do understand your feelings of you having enough though.
I conclude that it usually is someone else trying to spike me, and to deal with that I look at this as them showing me who they are, with this lesson I know to be careful around this person and try to remain professional and composed, my response is what alters the outcome for me, usually the people that act out this way do it to others too, or target the people they know they can get arise out of.
oh yea, i agree with this.....it does happen in small companies, but not as bad, but i have faced it...when i see a (usually another female) worker do this to me, I immediately, relegate her to an outer circle and i keep communication at a very minimum , keep it professional and polite......i had a bad secretary at one of my jobs...my weekly friday one...she was a total B**** to me b/c she just did not like me....we used to facebook together (mistake on me for facebooking w/ fellow workers) but i did it and we were chatting when i realized she was at work..she wanted to do a loong chat with me and i said "when you are off work, i will discuss this...don't wnt to do this while you are working, i don't feel right" she got angry b/c i basically called her out in a nice way....NO facebooking while working...I don't do that...........from then on she treated me bad....i tried the "she does not exist" policy of mine...didn't work....she was terrible to be at every opportunity, so i began to "kill her w/kindness" oh i kept it professional, but when she would snap at me, I would say "gee P, I am sorry you are having another bad day...sending you smiles and happy thoughts" and i would walk in the am and say "good morning, how was your week???" just murdering her with kindness....it pissed her off so bad, me doing this, she could not stand it....i mean what is she going to do...run to boss and say "rosie is just killing me with kindness and smiles????"
the bosses saw through it and i think they got a kick out my spiking her sorry, lazy, unproductive butt and finally she began to stop her attacks b/c she knew it was making her look bad....the turnng point was when a CUSTOMER told her she was a bitch and stop being mean to this nice little lady OMG...i thanked him for his kindness and i had to walk away to laugh...yea, even a male customer saw her treating me so bad, HE stepped in and called her a bitch.........had to laugh...i know the other people laughed, too
she just left me alone after that....gave them like 2 days notice, she was going back into banking....left them w/hardly any notice....they were glad to see her go.........now we have a nice lady at front desk and its different...
anyway, yea, the company back stabbers and the company witches, its all a reflection of their being miserable wiht their lives so they have to make others miserable....i just kill them with politeness and NEVER let them get anything on me to use against me...........like any vipor, you treat them humane, but you keep your armour on so their bites cannot penetrate......karma is accurate...what goes around does come around.....
keep it profession, polite, sunny and give her NOTHING to use against you...share NO personal information, NO fraternizing...keep it all sweet and professional.....watch your back.....she will do her self in.....and oh its fun to watch them get their lessons....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
at the job where i am going to day, there was an accounts receivable lady who was abusive horribly to our off. mgr. who is a friend of mine....we get on great....this other lady was so abusive to off. mgr., i ended up writing to the boss and telling him that i could not concentrate on MY stuff, listening to her abuse, verbally, our off. mgr., whom i need to retrieve tings for me to do my work and that miss Accts. rec. was disrupting the work flow...
first time i had to do anything like that, but these people are patient, hate to fire a person, and it was getting so bad, that off mgr was getting ready to quit....so i stepped in as on site controller and i told them point blank that she was disrupting entire office procedure...
they got rid of her the following week........i didn't feel bad...she did this to herself....i did not need off mgr quitting and this was bad for company.....so she was GONE...now its peaceful
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
This is funny to me, because I just did this to a person. In skills lab I offered to help my friend she said she wasn't ready to have me check her off on her skill so I asked another person and they said yes. Two minutes later she walks up and says okay I'm ready and I tell her I am now working with someone else. She got mad at me and huffed off and I was thinking what in the world did I do wrong, I gave her the first shot. Then I shrugged and walked away thinking how hard communication is for everyone. Don't give up on the human condition we all have it and without humor and understanding we are all in trouble. I do agree woman tend to have this more then men I am around, but we need each other too. I love time with my man, but sometimes I really need a girls only lunch with my besties like today and I walk away feeling so much lighter. I am sorry it ruined your whole day and hopefully the next one is much better. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
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