The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i have little serenity just sad frustration today. my AH has a sleeping problem but just like his drinking problem,he ejects all help,advice from me and also from people outside. So every weekend he drinks and takes pills,the monday comes and he tells work he didnt get any sleep..well if being in a dead stupor in bed doesnt count?? It is a family business so everyone there is totally fed up with him.nothing has changed him[jail,car accidents,treatment,hospitals,almost dying ,liscense taken away etc] i think the dmv worker was totally clueless about him if she restores his liscense.meanwhile i feel alone,I am going through some possible serious health issues and dont feel any support from him..he is an empty shell
Hey, and welcome to the world of untreated alcoholism....Soon, his health and mind will go and there will be NO job, family or not....
I know, I was facing it with my EX's.....if he doesn't get into treatment and stay in AA and stay sober, its only gonna get worse....I can't say its gonna be "ok" and be honest w/you....BUT
you can help you...If I were you and I was staying in this, I would up my meets to 1 per day and get with other alanons and be around sane people b4 you lose your grip...your serenity and sanity
this darkness is like quicksand, it will suck you under if you don't just let him go to his own devices and take care of you....Serenity is found in the meetings....do you have a sponsor to help you??? I can't imagine not having my sponsor.....Program, and the meets, steps, sharing w/recovery mates and my sponsor keeps me emotionally sober one day at a time
IN SUPPORT
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Yarn The insanity of the disease is mind blowing Please search out face to face alanon meetings and attend. Learning how to keep the focus on your life, and living one day at a time is crucial to your mental health
Yarncrazy: You need you. Please take care of you. I know you want him to be a support to you, but he can't be that for you. There are people who can be supportive of you in Al-Anon and in other places, too. Pushing him to do what you think will help him take care of himself may only wear you out and gain more resistance from him. Letting go can give your HP space to work and you a break.
I am in a water exercise class at a local gym. The gals and guys in the pool exercise together. We don't talk about our problems. We share a little about ourselves together. We laugh and splash and talk while our laid back instructor calls out the exercises we're supposed to be doing while we tease him about how closely we are listening to him or not. I'm only in that pool with the others for an hour but I leave feeling supported just because I'm doing something I enjoy for myself with others who are doing the same thing.
Al-Anon and doing things you enjoy for you one day at a time can help you get the support you need and maybe even help with some of your health issues whether he sleeps all day or not. I hope you will do that for you.
Its a difficult situation and i relate to the chaos and the loneliness. I found only one answer really, i went to alanon face to face meetings, learned the philosophy, i very quickly felt better, broke the isolation and got hope. You do not have to live this way, there is another way but you meed to make the change.
