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the bio sister appeared on my text again...no worries, i am keeping my distance and i knew she would re-contact me which , again, no worries b/c i am keeping my distance, being nice...not putting myself out there re: hot topics for her to push any buttons...not going anywhere with her but our mutual love of horses and just news stuff, current events, etc....SAFE stuff
anyway, she texts me , wanting a photo of me to take to her hairdresser, she wants her hair to look like mine....i told her i do my own cut and its a "rosie custom made" but what the heck...i'll send the pic and did
she's oooeeing and aweing over it, how young i look, etc., and i thank her and tell her i hope she can get a good cut, etc...
THEN the "test" comes.....she wants to be friends on facebook, where 2 previous occasions she came at me like godzilla re: my dropping my sire's name and also another "hit" on my inventory....ohh how the perps forget and the victim does not.........i forgave, but never going back to that place again
so i texted her "thank you for your interest in being friends w/me on facebook, however i am not on so much and we were friends before and it just did not work for me......lets keep it occasional text ok????"
she wasn't very happy but handled it well, and i walked away from it w/out a scratch
ALANON I LOVE YOU
those of you who are sweeter then me, I think some of you are rubbing off on me, but OH not too much...
I will always be feisty and spicey....its in my blood.....But i MUST say, even to myself......"I done good" avoiding this potentially bad experience for me
-- Edited by neshema2 on Saturday 17th of January 2015 08:01:03 PM
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Oh my I have a similar sister situation. The part I hate is constantly being aware a "zinger" could come at any moment and that she talks to me like there have never been any zingers. Example really too long to explain fully but she worked for me and the fact that I way overpaid her was part of the reason I was struggling, then started up her own business in competition with me- when I was going through a hard time (instead of helping me out). This eventually was much much better but was hard to take. Since we now work in the same circle of businesses I know of a few times she has chosen to indicate negatives about me when she could have said nothing or even Oh my gosh ... said something nice. It doesn't do a lot of damage with current customers but may make some new contacts a little weird. The interesting part is when there are some changes or new contacts that need to be made to further our type of business she actually calls me and says "we should work on this together" ... she then says it's because I'm better at making new contacts and business development than she is... which is not even true we both are pretty much the same just different approaches.
anyway for some reason she reaches out as if we are "real" loving sisters and I would love that to be true... I know I'll never know if it might work out because I'm not willing to take the risk.. but I still see her "zinging" others when she has the chance and there is no indication from past behavior she would not "get" me again. So I just try to act like whatever she says is a great idea then let it drop as best I can, not follow up or just give her basic info and move on.
I'm not being mean I just don't want to put my self in the meat grinder anymore.
Oh Glad, I do know what you are talking about, LOL....the old zingers...
I just don't put anything out there that even smells of blood for the vampire to go after....keep it real casual, nothing she can sink those little tube like teeth of hers into and all is ok
WHY do some people have to thrive off another's expense??? OH i forgot!!!! In that family, I am the only one who saw herself so sick, she needed recovery.....the other siblings are healthy...don't need recovery......Yea RIGHT!!!!
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I do not know what happend Neshema but I fixed it :) Remember to stay detached and treat everyone with courtesy and respet that works
Yep, Betty you are right...At times I do get out my own harpoons and need to keep that in check......so far letting her text me a bit is ok b/c i enforce the boundaries on the subject matter.....I didn't need to "zap" her on my thread.....that was acting like the old.....thanks for fixing my duplication on my thread......and i need to STAY detached..not give up my energy and power......so far, i am treating her with respect and courtesy not bc she has in anyway earned it, but i am doing it for me.....i don't want to be part of the illness/disease anymore.....for sure.....thanks for reminding me.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Weighing in on your first post at your thread, Rosie. Growth! I see growth! So much progress there, Rosie. I'm so happy for you. Going back on your own terms is a program option and I see you've chosen that for yourself for now. You just keep blossoming right before my eyes.
Weighing in on your first post at your thread, Rosie. Growth! I see growth! So much progress there, Rosie. I'm so happy for you. Going back on your own terms is a program option and I see you've chosen that for yourself for now. You just keep blossoming right before my eyes.
((((((((((((((((((((((C))))))))))))))))))))) thanks, my good friend , i no longer fear her or distrust me....its like i can face my demons of the past and not feel like I have to run....this woman is not in recovery....not even close, and i am sorry for her, but that is her choice.......she has cancer...bad cancer and i don't think i am at risk being humane to her as long as i keep the chain link gate locked.....we can chat over the fence w/her at the fence....me up on the porch...we can have a fun chat and when things start to smell bad, i can say "see ya" and go into my house.....GONE
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
