The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writer refers to her early Al-Anon days. It was difficult for her to understand humility and how to develop it. Being teachable was a concept that she could grasp. She decided to look at how she could change herself so that she could become more open and willing to learn. She decided that skipping meetings and thinking she knew it all were dangerous practices. Going to meetings, truly listening to everyone, her sponsor and program friends were all helpful to her. When she heard a suggestion and thought: That doesn't apply to me, she began to realize that opening her mind and remain receptive to what she hears helped her remain teachable. She believes that the program works to the extent that she is open, honest and willing which is an important component for a humble state of learning. She recognizes she doesn't know it all and won't.
The Thought for the Day includes the idea that the more available a person is to listen and learn, the more healing can happen by a Higher Power.
I've been in the Al-Anon program for over 1/2 of my lifetime. I continue to learn more about myself and ways to handle complex situations with the help of my Higher Power and by listening to all people in my meetings and elsewhere because I do know I don't know it all. When I hear a suggestion and feel a strong resistance to it, I've learned that oftentimes that is as much guidance for me as the suggestion that is easily received and applied to my life. Outside meetings in my FOO, in my family, and in my former professional life, the voice I listen for most closely is the lone voice that doesn't say or agree with what everybody else says or agrees to. To me, that lone voice is also part of the collective whole and is trying to add something of value to any decisions made or actions taken by the others. Sometimes, my voice is the lone voice and if I'm practicing the 11th Step, I say what I need to say, scary as that sometimes might be.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 16th of January 2015 07:39:41 AM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 16th of January 2015 08:15:34 AM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 16th of January 2015 08:37:23 AM
Hope for Today is a inspiring reader and I love the topic of humility . Thank you Catherine
I believe that I disliked the word humility before finding recovery in alanon because I believed that Humility meant I made myself invisible, went along with the crowd and did not make waves. This is another one of those alanon principles that I needed to redefine in order to grasp the full benefit and wholeness of it.
Humility surfaced for me most importantly when I worked the 7 th Step "Humbly" asked HP to remove my short comings- I had to admit deep down in my soul that I was not perfect and I "DID NOT KNOW IT ALL. "
and could not "fix myself" Wow that was difficult as I had been fiercely independent all my life--- Needing HP to fix me was a blow.
Keeping an open mind, becoming teachable, learning to listen to learn are all part of the tools where humility developed as I attended alanon meetings. .In practicing these simple tools I found my humility in action and understood in my core that :I was an imperfect child of God who needed the courage, serenity and wisdom of this program.
In order to obtain this humility. I needed to attend meeting, practice these principles in all my affairs and contribute to the unity of the group by participating and not by being invisible.
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Back to the 7th step and Humbly Asking had "finally happened for me after I tried my best to "fix" myself with all the different tools, I had and could not . Since I had surrendered, and became teachable, with an open mind, I could finally "ASK" HP for help- My reasoning went I am an intelligent , imperfect, child of God, who like everyone else, am powerless over this disease and only a Power Greater than myself can restore me to sanity. so please HP restore me .The restoration began and I marveled at the changed attitudes that I found being expressed in my actions.
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Nice topic Catherine.
I used to be close minded out of my fear. Fear of being wrong. Fear of change. Alanon has really taught me that it is ok to be wrong. And bc I want better energy I am now open. I can listen and take what works and leave the rest. Love the hope for today reading i cut my recovery teeth on hope for today.
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
As i read your post my first impulse was to 'wing it' and to 'fake it' without reading the reading- and certainly without thought and reflection.
I faked my way through school like this. I seldom if ever studied. i did try and tried hard- but i was too numb. There was too much going on in my family to cope with. I passed all my exams without study, really... fluked it and faked it. Ended up on the human scrap heap.
I studied humility here, on MIP Alanon. I spent 5 or 6 weeks focussing on he first word in Step 7. I shared on it a few times, which helped my learning. As kid I felt shamed and humiliated. One a daily basis- yes.
It was very easy for me to engage in semantics. To have a private word-fest and to believe that i had learned something. As a kid I read like mad... many times finishing a book in one day... and reading the library dry... so i have lots of words available, if not the actual knowledge!
Being teachable, for me, is the path to wisdom, and knowledge... who knows, heaven knows, maybe sometime i might be able to pass some of it on myself!?
I don't agree that we are in a treadmill of meetings, meeting, and more meetings... I do believe that we can move from recovery to a maintenance programme. And it does provide insurance against relapse... so keeping engaged and involved is essential. For me it is no longer a chore. I enjoy it!
Is that humility? Well if it is true, I am sure it can be... it is not about self-effacement and shame. For me it is about good timing, being able to listen... and to learn~
Thank you for taking time to respond to today's reading and share. I re-read what each person thus far wrote three times through. The posts were all different and yet on the third read through, I could relate to the experience, strength and/or hope in everyone's share.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 16th of January 2015 03:02:48 PM
