The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been really tired lately. I have missed three weeks of my f2f meetings and I feel like I'm floundering for my life preserver. Confusion seems to be clouding my judgment. I've been still so that I could hear God speaking to me. He has given me direction, but then I feel doubt and confusion creeping back in on me. I just feel drained. Lately my two son are realizing they have a sick dad. This is hard for them. They are trying to digest it. Their dad has always been their rock, someone they would go to when they needed help, and it's hard for them to admit that he is sick. I am finding myself trying to teach them about alcoholism and all the things I know about it. I have asked them to come to Al-Anon, but of course with their work and families, they feel they don't have time. I have tried to get them to read some of my Al-Anon literature, but that's no happening either. I'm just tired.
I opened up to some of my prayer group friends and that felt good. They had no idea that my husband is an alcoholic. They told me that I had hidden it so well. Yep, that was me. I told them I was done hiding.
I kind of feel like I have been on a sugar high for a while and now I'm crashing. I guess this is just the "pink cloud syndrome."
Love you all!
Al-Anon works if you work it.
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
I hit those places sometimes, CS. I am glad you shared some of what is going on in your family with your prayer group friends. You've carried the message to your adult kids. Maybe your share will also help carry the message to somebody in that group who is living with alcoholism, too, and is afraid to admit it? Regardless, HALT can help - and just getting out to have some fun - just for you?
(((Cloudy skies)))) I hear you and can understand the confusion and the tiredness. Holidays certainly do take their toll. I know that even after all these years in program, if I miss attending at least one reading a week, I can feel , my serenity and courage slipping. My old destructive tools surface and I try to be in control and force solutions.
Program reminds me that I'm powerless and that the best way I can introduce people to program is by attraction and not promotion and that prayer and a higher power work..
Please be gentle with yourself and know that this is a process and you are doing fine
Feeling tired is a normal and natural consequence of holding on so tightly...get some rest. Look after yourself cause you're the only person you really have. (((hugs)))
Hey CS. Glad you came out and shared with a trusted bunch of folks. Oh the pain of denial. Been there. Done that. Something about coming out lessens the pain. Re your kids. You did all u can do. That's all u can do. Now it's time to do something extra nice for you. Hugs.
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hello Linda, Taking care of me includes taking vitamins (ok, laugh if you will but I like children's gummies eaten several times over the day rather than a big multi-vitamin once a day), getting sleep and taking walks whether I want to or not - for me energy tomorrow means exercise today. Strengthening my physical self gives me strength to handle the harder, mental/spiritual stuff. Hope things improve for you!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I can relate. I missed meetings over the holidays and i feel the old behaviours and thought processes creeping in. I can also relate to the high when we first 'get' it. Everything suddenly making sense, the more you learn the more opens up and its amazing. I think this is natural but balance is needed i think, its about getting down from the high and getting into an even place. The good news is that in my experience, in my almost three years in this fellowship ive never went down into the dark cave and i think ive got enough tools to get myself out if i ever since into depression. The recovery process, has been for me a journey of highs and lows, i felt a bit disappointed about that at first. Its great to know your not alone, your no longer isolated, your reaching out to others, not keeping secrets, appreciating your meetings, learning tools you can pass on to your boys.Theres still lots to be grateful for cloudy.x
Totally relate. Your sons may come around when they are ready but for now you can set the right example and just work the best program you can, even if you are missing meetings. Glad that your meeting today gave you a bit of grounding. I sometimes start to feel empty and lost and I realize it's because I've missed a few meetings. HUGS!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
It's amazing when you lean on your friends during the hard times, things done seem as heavy. I feel like I have given my f2f meeting group and my MIP family part of my load. I think this is what support is all about.
Let's continue this journey together.
((hugs to all of you))
It works if you work it.
__________________
Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
