Today's Reading and need prayers - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Today's Reading and need prayers

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers Betty, for you family.

It is my default to want to blame others. Now that I know better, I sidestep the temptation ( I might play in it a little) and I examine my part. After my examination, I own my part and make my amends. When I was in an administrative role, this was particularly difficult for me, yet essential for the well being of the whole.

Jill · ~*Service Worker*~

I am praying from me for your whole family, Betty. Thank you for shining light on this process.
i too find release when I peel away childhood lessons and trust this process.

Temple · ~*Service Worker*~

Bless you and your brother, Dear Betty.

Prayers, Temple

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you for the reading, Betty. One of the problems for me as the eldest in my family of 10 was to be blamed and shamed and often punished for what others in my family did. I would say what I saw from my vantage point and rather than to be heard and affirmed, bad behavior on the parts of the others would happen and I'd blame myself for the blaming, shaming and punishment. Al-Anon has helped me see that in any circumstance, what I do is only on me. Whatever anybody else does is on them. I have also learned that even if 1 or 2 people are acting out most inappropriately, I am still responsible for my part and making any amends necessary with my HP's help. And finally, I have learned that the problems that occur in a family affected by alcoholism is the disease. Learning to separate the disease from the person is still a process for me in certain situations but I know more now than I once did. It has helped me to change what I can and let the rest be.

Many prayers, too, for you and for your brother and your family. Hard stuff this. (((B)))

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 14th of January 2015 09:35:43 AM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 14th of January 2015 10:48:55 AM

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers for your brother that he will find peace....

Flower49 · Senior Member

My prayers are with you!

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

Good topic and share Betty... my issues are mainly historical now, thanks to this programme.

Your personal share reminds me of the 'boys will be boys' attitude I grew up with, and alongside...

...There was a real lack of responsibility, and despite the 'fun and games' a real lack of fun and laughter.

I can enjoy this now, along with genuine adult to adult conversations, and lovely company....

It is good to know that we can get by, despite the set-backs...

courage personified...

...thanks...

andromeda · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you for the share, Betty! I will lift up your brother and family in my prayers!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Sending you my love, and prayers for your brother. I love that you are sharing daily thoughts from the books, thank you

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha and prayers asking for HP directing HP's attention on you and your brother. For sure another right on post and I appreciate the honest and insightful share. Blame and shame was and is a personality of our disease...a defense and an offense both. Originally it was impossible for me to admit I was wrong because that felt like I was joining "their" shaming and blaming and also holding myself victim. Again my sponsor helped me out with this in teaching me the humility of the question "Could I be wrong"? I couldn't dare answer no to that question and I could take my time and reflect on where and when and how coming eventually to an amends. I learned we were all affected by the disease and realized also that "we were doing the best we could with what we had applied to everyone in the family who was affected". That taught me how to offer mercy and give margin without making excuses for the behaviors. We all could have done better and then only I was in Al-Anon and learned how to do that. It is maddening to see how some people will do absolutely insane behaviors that harms the health and welfare of others. ((((hugs)))) smile

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Wow, I'm going to have to get an ODAT, I only have a C2C. that was one powerful reading, at least for me it was, I'm a justifier from way back, should probably be called "kennyjustifyalot" instead!

You definitely have my prayers for your brother Betty!

Kenny

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Betty Growing up in an alcoholic home the only coping tools that I possessed were to justify my action, blame other, deny reality and pretend all was well. It was foreign to me to look within myself, remain with the guilt and shame of not being perfect and then to "See Clearly " my part in a situation-- own it without justifying my action and learn the lesson of the interaction.

******************************

FIRST...sending you prayers re: brother.....family won't own it/ examine their part in it if they are not in recovery.....so sad...bringing him alcohol when hes already week....sending healing energy to him and comfort/healing energy to you

i, too, blamed others...could not look at me..it would have been too overwhelming to do otherwise...i justified all my screw ups so as to have a shred of "decency" as they put me down so bad, now i still "beat me up" when i do stupid things.....and denying reality, oh yea.....i could not accept me so i put on the front that all was well......self acceptance/love is a struggle for me...to this day i struggle ......i am trying practicing better treatment of me.....being centered/in the moment/ paying attention....oh yea, "look within myself" your post really made me see some stuff about me...."guilt and shame of not being perfect" i still struggle wiht this

(((((((((((((Betty)))))))))) You are not alone............sure hope your brother recovers

tiredtonite · Veteran Member

I want to take a minute to thank you for all you do and share here while things are going on in your own life. I realize there is a reward from service but working at this board is a huge obligation and commitment so thank you for that.

I'm sorry to hear about the unrecovering family members who aren't doing things in your brother's best interest. It's really painful to sit with those feelings of powerlessness. Ultimately, hp will have the final say in all of this.

You and your family are in my prayers. (((hotrod)) TT

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you hotrod, this is another good reading. I hope your brothers ok, prayers sent.x

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I swear I posted to this early this morning, but here we go again. I am sending you and your loved ones prayers, love and support!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers. I thought that for the New Year I would attempt to post my thoughts on the daily reading when possible.

I think it is a positive t way to start the day. If anyone else would like to pick a day that they can initiate the posting just let me know and we can work it out

yanksfan51 · ~*Service Worker*~

prayers for you and your family Betty. Thank you for sharing

Mary

cloudyskies · ~*Service Worker*~

Betty, I am so sorry for your brother. If only alcoholics could step out of their bodies for a little while and see what we see. And if only the enablers could see their part in the disease.

I am praying for you all.

((Betty))

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I posted on ODAT for Jan 15 and I am unsure if you wanted the daily reading to be of any of the 3 readers Betty? Let me know if you wanted only C2C. Thanks

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Bf Thank You We can use any CAL -- for the daily reading as I like variety. Just a caution --since WSO does not permit us to reprint any page from the literature, due to copyright laws, when we post we need to summarize the topic in our own words and not post it verbatim
If anyone else would like to volunteer that would be great

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I would be willing to post from one of our three readers one day of this month?

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Great pick a day and let me know

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

If no one has chosen January 16th, I would be glad to post on a reading from that day? Tomorrow?

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Great Catherine Thanks

Eveyone, please remember that it is merely sharing your thoughts and feelings on the reading and we do not have to do it perfect . All are welcome to choose a day.:)

Jackie11 · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs!!! Praying for you and your family!

I love seeing the posts about our daily reading and the shares I find them so helpful!

Thank you!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.