The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, dealing with people isn't my strong suit.I am rough around the edges and I can be very blunt at times.I don't like to be jerked around and I can be very defensive.I have been called the B word.I need to deal with my landlord in a firm assertive way without getting angry and spouting off.That will be a challenge.I don't want drama,I want a healthy exchange,but I am not sure if that is what is going to happen,and this stuff makes me tired.
One of those say what you mean, mean what you say, and not say it mean kinds of things, Mary? Not to change the other, but to be true to yourself? If so, I understand and I hear you. It isn't easy and it is possible. Glad to see you made it after traveling on slippery roads yesterday.
I use to do a practice that at times seemed sooooo insane because I was roll playing real time. I use to "switch shoes" during confrontations with a mind set question running back and forth. "how do I want this to come out"?? I would ask myself "How would I feel and maybe react or respond if I heard what it is that I'm compulsed to say and what would I hope to gain by saying it that way"? I had great sponsorship who guided me thru this process which caused me to slow way down in thoughts and speech before speaking. It is an honest form of manipulation...I've been caught at it a time or too with verifications that it was honest and respectful. Practice, practice, practice is a slogan of mine...I am always practicing the program and it works when I work it that way. Great post. ((((hugs))))
I used to work myself up and come off as a B, myself, but then al-anon taught me not to let things build up and to say what I need to say with; say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean. I hope you are able to wear your tool belt in this exchange. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."