The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The One Day at a Time reading for today is a powerful reminder to examine our motives and discover what, within us, is keeping us ina destructive relationship and accepting of negative behavior and humiliation.
The reading points out that every human being is entitled to live without fear, uncertainty and discomfort. It is important that we take a firm stand and hold fast to whatever decision we make to help not only ourselvesand our family but the suffering alcoholic as well.
The quote is "God guide me to make the right decision and give me the fortitude to cling to it against all pressures and persuasions"
I believe when I first read this page and examined my motives, I discovered that I believed once I made a promise or vow I was unable to change my mind regardless of what was developing within my life. I did not relish being a martyr, as I pretended mightily that all was well and I was perfect. The only thing that mattered was that I lived up to my word. Al-Anon points at a different way and keeping an open mind and trusting HP I took the stand and never regretted it.
I too used to be a martyr, but now I see a better more serene way of life thanks to al-anon. I love being able to breathe easily and be calm within thanks to my beloved sponsor, the steps and MIP. Thanks Hotrod!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
This is rich. Before al anon I did not know I had motives. I had reasons that stemmed from beliefs that had been developed from outside influences ( culture, family, etc). Then when I learned there were layers of truth underneath the reasons, I did not want to examine them because sometimes the truths about me were unacceptable to the mask I had created. There was shame amidst my shadows. As I learned to look lovingly at my shadows and accept grace and forgiveness, I could better able love the whole of me. This is an ongoing inquiry, now I can more easily accept the truth about me. If I need to end relationships due to damage to me, I can ( with help and surrender). I can also more readily accept when I have injured someone by my hurtful, un examined motives, they may end the relationship with me.
What a great read,I really needed this today.I am having some serious issues with my landlady and I have been thinking,Would she want to live like this,heck no.So why am I different?One example is I have a window in my bathroom that won't close all the way I asked for it to be fixed and it she didn't fix it,she just had her husband shove on it so I can feel cold air while I shower and that is not okay!
I can so relate to having to examine my motives! Especially right now I have to really keep checking them!
"I discovered that I believed once I made a promise or vow I was unable to change my mind regardless of what was developing within my life."
I realize I did this too! I wanted to pretend that everything was going to work out. I had to get real with myself and then about the situation I was in.
I'm so thankful that I learned how to examine my motives and how to keep the focus on me!
I, too, like this reading. I have allowed myself to be degraded and humiliated in certain situations and seen it happen to others as well. In checking my motives for putting up with it, I've learned things I've needed to see about me. In doing that, I've also recognized that I may not be able to change what is outside of me. I can change what is inside of me and I do. It's not always easy. It can be very challenging to make a change when I can't see what the outcome will be. I can still do what I know is guided action on my part and let the outcome be. If the outcome requires another action on my part, I can take that action, too, knowing that by practicing the 3rd and 11th Step, even my mistakes can be used by my HP for good.
I was surprised to learn that im entitled to live a good life, honestly i hadnt even considered that. I thought i deserved it because i knew i wasnt doing the right thing so i thought i deserved the consequences. I didnt know i had the rit to make choices based on me having a safe, comfortable, happy life. The best revelation ever. Thnks hotrod.x
I almost believed that it was nuclear science to come to the belief and practice that I could change and then my sponsor told me that it was my responsibility to change a thing once I found out I had made a mistake of it...and I did...still do. (((hugs)))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Tuesday 13th of January 2015 09:44:34 PM
