seeking thoughts on dropping the rock - Al-Anon Family Group

jorjorjor · Veteran Member

seeking thoughts on dropping the rock

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi jorjorjor,

just talking it through is a famous first step. In our lives we do become isolated. The conversation drops. Maybe it was never there.... Getting through the steps is a breath of fresh air, a time to stretch- and to view the world as a whole...

...as we reach out, with our issues and concerns we find we are not alone in this world, not at all...

welcome. smile

DavidG.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi jor, working the eight step is a great way to redefine my understanding of the" harm "that I might have done to others. I know when I first began this step I could not see that my enabling, my doing for others what they could do for themselves, my taking over others lives and giving them advice and money was harming the person and that I needed to make amends for those actions.

I also had unrealistic expectations of the world and of others and build up resentment and anger within me ,based on false premises. In the second step we come to believe that a HP will restore us to sanity. I think by the eight step I had been somewhat restored and could see my faulty thinking.

I found that first and foremost I have responsiblity for my own life and my own choices and beliefs and then I am responsible to treat others with courtesy and respect . I thne need to participate in the common good. I am really powerless over people places and things bjut I can vote, the people into office who support my beliefs and join committees and groups that are working for change.

I am saddened to hear that somebody has been in solitary confinement for all these years that is a terrible sentence. They are fortunate to have you as a penpal and I can understand your concern and your desire to fix. If I was involved in sucha case I might get in touch with the legal aid group working for reform and asked them for help. I believe that really working the first step and knowing deep within that I am powerless over people places and things enables me to accept life on life's terms.

Today I pray for others and let it go. Please keep sharing

aquamom23 · Senior Member

Mother Theresa said we can not do great things we can only do small things with great love. This for me is the serenity prayer in practice. Though we are morally averse to wrongdoings we accept it is part of the world we live in. In spite of it, with courage we act in kindness, such as being a pen pal. Systems of human design are for me a case of qtip. Injustice like wise, the three CD could well apply.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi. I sent you a pm. You received good e/s/h here. I wanted you to have some information that may be of help to you when it comes to somebody being locked up in solitary confinement for 31 years? I wrote another post to your thread earlier, but deleted it. Something bothers me about your post that is based on my experience of the prison system and some who are in it. Unless this person is on death row, I am not sure he is really telling you the truth. You say that you are pen pals? I'm not sure how you were introduced to this person but I've learned that not everything that is sent from the prison system is the truth. If it is factual, then maybe the suggestions I sent you will be helpful? If it is true, sending him letters helps him know he is not alone. It is sad that someone is in prison - let alone in solitary confinement. I agree so much with you based on my own experience visiting many people in the prison system. The act of writing him may not seem like enough, but think of what he is receiving that he might not receive if you didn't take the time to write him. Just like all of us, receiving a letter sent by somebody just because they want to do it is uplifting for them. You can only do what you can do and like us - they have a Higher Power, too.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 12th of January 2015 10:08:00 PM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 12th of January 2015 10:12:06 PM

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I have researched tons on prisons. now we have netflix with documentaries too, tv shows.

The research on solitary is shocking. It's a fact even mice and rats go crazy being in solitude like that. In fact it causes brain damage that can never be fixed.

The problem is, what do we do with people who are so mentally sick that they cause chao's and don't have any conscience? They cannot be in the general pop of the prisons.

I was thinking about that when i was watching a doc on it. Why couldn't they change how the rooms they have be different? have separate yards, earn to be able to have books, put tvs in the walls with break proof glass in front. Other incentives for better behavior.

Even if they have to be there forever, they can be maintained better.

Its all so sad honey. Not too many good people are going to work in those places. I have seen them try but don't last long.

I guess all we can do is put it in hp's hands. Which for me means i have to let it go. I cannot do anything about it. I ask hp to please take this from me. I sorta go into this breathing mode and send it with my heart. Its not mine to keep.

you are doing a wonderful thing to write to him. Every little bit we do helps

HP will not allow it much longer.

I would be happy to write to someone. but then I get scared if they ever got out. It starts at birth that which is instilled in a human. But then we have many of our human pop that is mentally ill and violent. What do we do? hugs

-- Edited by Debilyn on Monday 12th of January 2015 09:42:25 PM

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