C2C Today - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

C2C Today

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I read that today and its a good reading, pretty relevant, the timings always great with the c2c, dont you find?

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

It is very true, and thanks for sharing it because my readers are all packed away who knows where just now!

Today, although I have been pretty upset recently, I did experience many of the ways that I have grown through the program and I was grateful for them. My life has not become perfect but I am learning not to react, to be a part of life as it unfolds instead of trying to be writer, director, producer and lead actor, and as a result, I can have a good day even if people are unpleasant, things go terribly wrong or all of my buttons get pushed at once. I can even pull myself together after I have lost my cool and thrown a tantrum. And I wouldn't trade it even if I could because it is hard, yes but it is SO good not to need to react or become consumed with each and every glimpse of drama.

At first I didn't see the point of people talking and receiving no feedback or validation....then I saw that I had the answers myself and I could often get to them just by reasoning outloud and focusing on the tools and slogans, and i thought that was 'it" but after a while I saw that even outside of al-anon I was letting people talk without "taking over" or trying to resolve their issues my way. So I have always had difficulty listening properly to people and there is yet another gift I am starting to see I have received.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Nice shares I agree

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Good point mel. Ive been thinking about this too lately. What am i looking for when i share? Validation, attention, a laugh? Whatever it is im looking for may not be helpful in my recovery journey and often it has been the release of my problem that helps with it. I suppose the esh we give is given freely and can again help us in our own recovery even if the person doesnt listen or cant listen at that moment. Learning to forgive myself and others releases further expectations or resenments.x

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you for sharing this reading here today, Betty.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I appreciate it as well. I'm with elcee on this. I, too, must even look at my motives for sharing my own e/s/h, forgive myself when I screw up and me and my HP knows that I do and let go of things in me that get in the way of practicing spiritual principles in all my affairs. I also know that I love each and every person on this board and sometimes my dis-ease can get in the way. I guess its all part of the process and progress we speak about in our program?

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

The Courage to Change is a powerful inspiratiion. I even love the title!!
Before program I would not have thought about how much "Courage "it takes to change but with this title I began to reflect and be grateful for all the help i receive in just changing a small action. Sharing honestly helps as does reading this little reader daily.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

smile Thanks for your leadership, Betty. I learn so much from you.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I learn from you, too, Betty. Thank you for representing so gracefully, the spirituality of the 12 steps.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

when we are accepted for who we are. We can share without having to pretend and trust that what we share will not be gossiped about and that we will not be given advice.

***********************************************

this is what i love most.....acceptance for who i really am, share w/out being attacked, minimized, dismissed, told to "get over it" how many times i heard "well pull yourself up" well DUH don't they think I WOULD if i COULD????? sooo true........thanks Betty.......hugs...would love to see C2C exerpts all the time....love that book

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

Ah, nice to have this reading...

(I deleted part of the post, because it had served its purpose...)

-- Edited by DavidG on Monday 12th of January 2015 12:34:20 AM

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Me too david. I miss pinkchip already. I imagine he will be hurting. He helped me a lot over the last couple of years.x

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

I have to admit I am confused about all of this. I don't want to cause upset but I don't understand the value of public shaming someone. It makes me very uneasy. I don't understand how this shaming process is a part of al-anon. I take the traditions very seriously as although I may not be very advanced in al-anon, GA or AA, I really do have a strong belief in the process and have spent a bit of time reading about it and loving it.

Tradition 3
Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought AA membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an AA group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

Tradition 4
With respect to its own affairs, each AA group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience.

I am confused and a little bit frightened that I will be banned for saying this but i do not understand how what has been going on works in relation to these traditions and I really hope to recieve an educational email rather than a ban because I am not trying to be a smartass, I just don't get this.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

oh thank you! Yep we don't learn unless it is tough, sure feels good when we do learn! And also apply what we learn.

With my brain being compromised from the disabilities I have, sometimes I need reminders. I appreciate them. I find a few people here who will pm me and be willing to communicate with me to figure things out. Even if it is to help me to see things in a different way.

I like that. If they didn't that would mean to me they don't care.

No it is not easy, but what is?

thank you for posting this!

-- Edited by Debilyn on Sunday 11th of January 2015 03:32:06 PM

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Ms.M I believe the Board is a little different than an alanon meeting, as it is a written permanent record . The Private Message system was set up to communicate issues that should be addressed and resolved off line .

I believe that the issue you refer to was being handled in PMs and brought to the Board by the MIP member. Since the issue was then public, and so as not to keep secrets, as is the usual manner in alcoholic families, the resolution was brought out to the Board and addressed in public.

I do understand how uncomfortable that solution feels but please believe me that keeping the board a safe environment for all is very important.

The AA Tradiitons, that you have presented clearly outlines and understands that alcoholism is a progressive, fatal disease and that nobody looking for recovery should be denied entrance or access to AA meetings

. Alanon traditions states it a little different and points out that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.

We have had disruptive people at our Al-Anon meetings, just recently a nursing mother was bringing her baby to the meeting and many members objected because the baby cried, mom was running in and out of the room with her, and the meeting had been listed as "no children". A member asked for a business meeting and a group conscience vote regarding the issue. Everyone voiced their opinion and a vote was taken. The member was asked to find a different meeting where children were accepted.

Face-to-face meetings have a different format and can address issues a little differently. Possibly we could institute a similar process. I will talk to John

Tasha · Senior Member

Where ever there is lack of faith... fear will act accordingly.

Fear based actions and reactions only create more fear.

Still... in hps world. .. I believe there are no mistakes. Acceptance is still the answer to all life's problems today. Xxx

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.