Went to my F2F home group last night - changed attitudes - Al-Anon Family Group

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Went to my F2F home group last night - changed attitudes

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Yes: Roads here are awful. When my son was hit by a car years ago, that changed me in ways that were a reaction to a sudden horrible experience. I'm much better than I once was, but whenever my daughter, grandson or son (and my close friends, too - I admit) have to be out on dangerous roads, my emotions can start churning. Yesterday, I knew my daughter and grandson were out on the roads. Rather than allow that emotional drunkenness that today's HFT reading is about, I talked with a neighbor, shoveled, took care of my cats, worked on MIP, made a call to my family who could respond or not (they did), and remind myself that they both have their own HPs who will be with them no matter what as I have mine who can help restore me to serenity if I'm willing to do the work that leads to it.

Loved your share, Kenny. It was inspiring for me.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 10th of January 2015 12:35:02 PM

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Great topic and share Kenny! I can never have enough reminders that it is ok to feel my feelings and not react to them. This way, they pass more quickly and I'm more likely to respond (or not respond) in a more constructive manner. It also helps level my attitude so I don't get stuck on negative thoughts that narrow my understanding and choices.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

love changed attitudes meetings. I would say all my attitudes have undergone a slight to moderate shift. I always thought I was opened minded until program and found that was not so Keep an open mind is one that is huge for me ,also do not react but act and , treat all with courtesy and respect, no gossiping , blaming or judging while keeping the focus on yourself and trusting hp These are just a few

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I love this share mr. It encouraged me to relook at how i respond I used to be so emotional, all over the place.

For many years now learning from Al Anon that I can choose how to react, I notice I go into this serenity mode, quiet, breathing, remind myself to give it to HP.

I sure did not agree one can choose how to react! NO way! I no longer hide, cocoon up in my bed, cry till I cannot breath. Run from the situation.

Still not perfect that is for sure.

Don't react,look at feelings then respond or not. I will remember this Kenny. You just helped me to work on being stronger on this one. You know I am not one to react. My ex saw me yelling at this awful tenant. Said if he did not get out I was going to shoot the window out and throw his stuff out. Takes a lot to get me upset. ex said, "Well you are human!" In almost 30 years he never saw this side of me.

My MOther gave her blood sweat and pain to give me the money to get our place. NO creep not paying rent was going to make me lose our home!

Now on here, you may think I am mad, but I never am. never. The tools I have learned have helped me to look at the "issue" not the person or the emotions.

Always attack the issue, nothing else.

thank you agein mr! wise progress. hugs

Truth · ~*Service Worker*~

Ohh I know the attitude that I had to change. I thought I was so loyal and it is a good trait when used in the right context. I mistook loyalty as being loyal to bad behavior. I had a Fear of letting go....

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

I've never had one attitude that changed. Many...not just one. (((hugs))) smile

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

This is one of the things I am really appreciating at the moment, that I am able to respond to fear instead of trying to attack it.
For me, any time some-one seemed to take away my power (for example my ex-husband saying 'you can't cope, I will take daughter from you", or even when that deranged cat woman was sending me threatening letters, causing me to get fines from the council etc), I would respond to the helpless feelings with anger and then shame because I am not at all rational or composed when I am angry, I shake, stutter and cry lol. So I would blow my stack in a very humiliating way and then crawl away in shame. I love that I am learning to respond to threats by stepping back, telling the threat first that it has no power over me, and then evaluating it and choosing a calm response. I always feel great now after those few moments of rage have hit me and I have said "OK Mel, breath 1-2-3 don't react, is this really a threat to you, will it really harm you, no probably not, good, let's smile and walk away.
That's a huge breakthrough for me, I love it.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.