The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
On my facebook, I do "Slogan for today" posts and i get a LOT of takes from my friends and they let me know, many of them have, that I help more people than i can imagine...it feels good to know that i can put those out there and the spirits in the "wild" can get something out of it....
anyway, i do my slogan for today which was about "what others think is none of my business" .....got lots of posts on that one...folks telling me how they lived their lives based on others opinions, etc and they are thanking me for this slogan
and I shared how this one slogan has shown me a lot of things, primarily, that I should worry about my character, not my reputation. My character is who I am and my reputation is what others think I am....
well, tucked somewhere in the middle of all the posts i get, my D#2 puts a little post that says "hello mom, u r gonna be a grandmother again" and that was IT!!! one sentence!!!
No call, no visit, i have seen her how many times in my comings and goings????
but ya know?? i confess that it did hurt some, but then i practiced detachment and did some slogans, read some good posts on the board, and examined my expectations....after all that, I congratulated her on the same post, underneath yet some more esh's from my facebookers and..I discovered that:
if my expectations re: my daughter and how she "should" treat me got any lower, I would be doing chin ups on the street man hole covers.......Just saying!!!!
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Congratulations, Neshema. She's keeping you in the loop although it is not the ideal way. Your last sentence made me smile and I know exactly what you mean.
congratulations neshema. My program is teaching me to find the positives in what ever happens. I can see how your feelings would be hurt, but the positive is she wanted you to know. I just want you to know how much I admire your strength in this program, and I absolutely love your idea of posting slogans to face book. Great idea!!
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
Thanks family!!! I will "send it back" if it even SMELLS of taking after me, LOL----JUST kidding!!!! and yea, i guess it was nice of her to keep me in the loop....leave it to grateful to find the positive.....
i swear grateful, life could throw you in a bucket of doo doo and you will find the ONE flower that managed to take root in all that
and cloudy, I get a lot out of your shares...open..honest...hungry for recovery...
and el-cee, i love babies too, i love to smell them...when baby Adrian was born, I wrote his name on his birth certificate...d#2 was kind to let me name him and write his name on the cert....i loved holding him in my arms and just SMELLING him.....I will attach a pic of him....
and thanks, Mark for the congrats!!!
-- Edited by neshema2 on Sunday 4th of January 2015 08:24:29 PM
Congrats Neshema I have decided that with my FOO i can love them have compassion, empathy and be gentle with them and have NO expectations of them That works well for me. Good program work my friend.
Congrats Neshema I have decided that with my FOO i can love them have compassion, empathy and be gentle with them and have NO expectations of them That works well for me. Good program work my friend.
Hey Betty, it has taken me a loooooong time to get this far, and i still have my bad hair days, but they don't last...work the feelings out....hunker down and work program....a lot of times i will get on here and just READ.....its like going to a meet and just listening......someone , somewhere on this board will say something that will give me that "oh yea" feeling and i feel connected........hugs to you, my good friend
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
You made me laugh again, Neshema. I guess I have to credit my paternal grandmother for that. She had a very rough life, never complained, worked hard, was poverty stricken with five kids during the depression, never gave up, always prayed, was always grateful and her kids would say to her: "Mom, if you were at the bottom of a coal bin, you'd find the one diamond buried under the coal." She was a grand, grand lady with a hard, hard life and a very soft heart with a shrewd business sense and a shrewd understanding of human nature. Thanks for helping me remember her and for the picture of you with your little one.
You made me laugh again, Neshema. I guess I have to credit my paternal grandmother for that. She had a very rough life, never complained, worked hard, was poverty stricken with five kids during the depression, never gave up, always prayed, was always grateful and her kids would say to her: "Mom, if you were at the bottom of a coal bin, you'd find the one diamond buried under the coal." She was a grand, grand lady with a hard, hard life and a very soft heart with a shrewd business sense and a shrewd understanding of human nature. Thanks for helping me remember her and for the picture of you with your little one.
OMG....how funny, your gramma being told that by HER kids and here I make the comment to you, LOL....TOO funny......your grandmother sounds like a person we need a whole lot more of in this life and you do take after her in your "look for the positive in a bucket of crap" attitude.......LOL....that is too funny, about the coal bin/ diamond buried.........
coal is a lot better then a bucket of crap, but i guess that is where my mind was.....in the latrine!!!!
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
She wouldn't buy any excuses from her kids either. "Mom! I don't have a pencil or paper. There's no point in going to school" "Son! You get up and get your clothes on and get to school - now!" Just one example of how she raised my Dad who loved her, respected her and chose a woman who was also a no excuse kind of person with her kids that he adored. He was a very good husband and in some ways that was his decision and in other ways it was her and how she raised him.
Just one example of how she raised my Dad who loved her, respected her and chose a woman who was also a no excuse kind of person with her kids that he adored. He was a very good husband and in some ways that was his decision and in other ways it was her and how she raised him.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((C)))))))))))))))))))))))))) thanks for sharing yourself like this......this is waaay too sweet and nice!!!!!!! thank you, recovery sister.......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I'm missing my Dad and sharing a little about Grandma and Dad helped. Thanks, Neshema.
any ole time....i enjoyed your letting me into your parlor like that.....I had adoptive parents who tried for years to adopt me but monster wouldn't give me up for reasons you all know.....THEY were my mom and my dad and yea, i miss them...both are resting in peace now and i will see them again one day......and I do believe you will see your dad and grandma again, too....i truly believe that!!!!! they are not gone...just in another frequency, another place......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Congratulations! I love me some grand babies and I look forward to another picture of you taking in those sweet smells.
hey Paula, IF she carries to full term, I will post some pics.......she has been having trouble carrying of late...has had 5 pregnancies and this is #6...the last few tries were hard births and we lost the one baby....i'm happy if shes happy, but a bit concerned.....the last miscarriage was real hard on her......she will be 34 in May..not old, by any means, but 6 pregnancies is a lot....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Prayers for her and the baby and the family and you, too, Nemesha. Losing babies, even through miscarriage, can be very hard on a Mom. But! This baby can also be healthy and happy with her just hopefully going through pregnancy with no complications? I'll be sending some positive energy whistling down south for all of you, too.
This baby can also be healthy and happy with her just hopefully going through pregnancy with no complications? I'll be sending some positive energy whistling down south for all of you, too.
oh yea, (((((C))))) that was hard the miscarriage......i felt this terrible loss, but i told her that baby needed to go back home and we don't know why, but i do believe that nature knows best.....still, it was real hard and i had even more problems w/her acting out bc of the terrible loss.....thank you for the positive energy...i appreciate it......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Beautiful picture of your grandbaby. They are such a blessing I can only imagine as I have none yet but look forward to the day when the time is right. Congratulations on the announcement of the new grandbaby, no matter how it was announced it is a wonderful miracle. I enjoy reading your posts, and ESH as it can pull me out of my negative thinking sometimes so thank you for that. Blessing to you and your daughter.
Beautiful picture of your grandbaby. They are such a blessing I can only imagine as I have none yet but look forward to the day when the time is right. Congratulations on the announcement of the new grandbaby, no matter how it was announced it is a wonderful miracle. I enjoy reading your posts, and ESH as it can pull me out of my negative thinking sometimes so thank you for that. Blessing to you and your daughter.
Thank you so very much serenity, it makes me feel good, very good, to know that my posts do help others.....i had to go through what i did, perhaps, so could relate to and empathize others and give some wisdom every now and then, lol.....and yea, she did keep me in the loop, i will take that as a positive....as she progresses in her pregnancy, MAYBE we can have the sweet loving relationship we had when she was carrying my baby boy, Adrian (pictured) i held her as he made his "entrance" to the world, all purple and wrinkled and wet...so beautiful in my eyes, and i am watching this purpley looking baby breathe his first breathes, i touched him first..soon as the nurse detached and tied the umbilical cord, he was MINE...I hugged and sniffed him, i kissed the mucus off his mouth as i walked over to a special cradle for the nurses to give him his first shot and to put the zinc in his eyes, then i laid him back down in his cradle, and i identified him forever on his birth certificate.....daughter was lying there kinda recovering, not quite ready to hold him, but watching me and the baby, with a tired smile on her face....we had to to a spinal tap on her b/c the pain was too much as the final stages arrived, so i wasn't wanting her to move anyway........i loved just smelling him, smelling his soft, pure breath, his soft hair wet, matted to his head, and as he "pinked up" he began to look like a real baby, lol....i'll never forget it.....I had to help D#2 put him to her breast as she was exhausted...worn out.....but he got his first meal and i watched her and baby bond together and what a lovely sight....
shortely afterwards the nurses showed up w/a BIG piece of delicious chocolate cake and milk for grandmother....then they played a song to honour me as the elder....it was really neat the way this hospital honors the mom and baby of COURSE, but also the grandparents (i was the only one there---A father was out getting plowed as usual) hubby was terrified of all the action and kinda hid off to the side, he got queezy watching her push and the baby coming out so he kinda got a bit light headed, so i had to take over for all of us...mother pushing, me encouraging her and the nurse standing their like a hockey goal tender waiting to make that big "glove save" and it was just amazing...the whole experience.....
anyway, i will check up on her when i can catch her...she works for her hubby at his garage, she takes in the money, answers the phones, orders parts, etc......
thanks ya'll
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
thanks to all of you....yea, i sure hope this one isn't gonna be another heartache...once you lose one, it is always in the back of the mind somewhere, but i guess that is normal.....
Adrian was the one i actually got to SEE be born, (working when the others came) so yea, i am pretty stuck on him.....he goes nuts when he sees me, chases me up the street, lol
i will get w/her soon and find out "wots up"??
thanks ya'll for the loving interest.....HUGS
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I'm missing my Dad and sharing a little about Grandma and Dad helped. Thanks, Neshema.