i hate christmas!!!!! - Al-Anon Family Group

lizzieo35 · Member

i hate christmas!!!!!

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Whew! I can certainly relate to all those bitter thoughts and feelings. Al-Anon meetings, literature and a sponsor helped me a lot. Maybe by next Christmas you will be one of those people who are sharing what a wonderful day they had with family? I hope so. In fact, I hope that the change will come for you much, much sooner than next year. He might still be drinking. Finances may be in the tank. Circumstances around you may be the same as they are today, but you will have done what you can do to restore your faith in yourself and in the many gifts that are yours daily in this life. (((L)))

lizzieo35 · Member

I don't think I can cope with all this anymore I'm in complete bits but so scared of being alone he won't ever b amicable and we have 4 kids together if he went he would make my life hell x x

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Sounds to me as if you are already experiencing hell? When I attended Al-Anon meetings, I spent an hour of peace there that wasn't happening in my home. I liked it so much I kept going back, got a sponsor and learned how to work the program with the help of my sponsor. I also gained the support of the fellowship and made good friends who had been in hell and with the help of the program moved out of it and into the freedom of serenity and peace within themselves more often than not. There is also Alateen for young people if any of your children are teens?

lizzieo35 · Member

My kids are 10,8 and twins at 4 we are in the UK and isn't the support here that u have over there!!! I have been in contact with alcohol services and begged them for help and support but nothing so I'm completely on my own with all this x x

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

We have on-line meetings although the time difference is present. You might be able to find a meeting time on-line with us that fits with your schedule? I hope so.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Im in the uk. Best thing i ever done was look up an alanon meeting at alanon.uk then i went to my nearest meeting, there i got the support and help i needed.

mjferg · Senior Member

I feel your frustration,it wasn't long ago I was in the same situation.I remember saying many times,I just want to be happy,I didn't understand at the time I was expecting a sick person to make me happy.I didn't understand that then.I do now.I was placing my life in the hands of an unstable person.I decided to leave.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

I have lived with the disease of alcoholism all my life and thanks to alanon ,face to face meetings, the tools and ,alanon members I again love Christmas. i find that the music, the lights , and gift giving all bring me joy.

Ii URGE YOU TO SEARCH OUT ALANON AND ATTEND --- LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SIT IN ANGER AND MISERY---THERE IS HOPE

Sweet Stanley · ~*Service Worker*~

I understand your rant. I felt the same way on Christmas Eve. I can't understand why I have this unrealistic dream of the "perfect" Christmas....so I let it go. Went to an open AA/Alanon meeting last night and realized I wasn't alone...on both sides of these programs. It helped tremendously! Hope you have a better day....

lizzieo35 · Member

There is a meeting in my town but it's in the evenings and he works nights also doesn't like me out in the evenings as he has to look after the kids!! The other one near me is on a Sunday but I have my kids with me and they have been through enough!!! To be honest I think I've just run out of sympathy!!! our marriage our kids have been through too much I don't think I have the energy or the strength to carry on babysitting him I know this sounds harsh but it's just the way I feel x x

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Sounds healthy to me. Babysitting full grown adults robs us of serenity when the disease is alcoholism which is treatable. Al-Anon helps us learn how to avoid caretaking an active A and take care of ourselves.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

You attending meetings if its possible is for you and your kids. Its not about him and his needs. Alcoholism is a family disease and means that everyone is effected and everyone needs to recover from it, especially you. Alanon is a program of recovery for you and in turn helps your kids. Its a new way of living and thinking. There are meetings here on line. There is literature available from the website, i suggest you get yourself some and start learning it as a matter of urgency. Good luck.

Luiza · Senior Member

lizzieo35 wrote:
My kids are 10,8 and twins at 4 we are in the UK and isn't the support here that u have over there!!! I have been in contact with alcohol services and begged them for help and support but nothing so I'm completely on my own with all this x x

Alcohol services can't do anything to help him stop, only him can.
There are lots of support for single mothers in the UK.

cloudyskies · ~*Service Worker*~

HI lizzie, I'm glad you came here. Like all the others, I strongly urge you to seek out and attend Al-Anon meetings. We all know the insanity you are living. Al-Anon can teach you how to stop the insanity. You can't help your ah. You can save him. I would not even bother looking for interventions from him. He knows there's help for him when he's ready for help. Al-Anon can help you lean how to stop obsessing over your ah and start focusing on you and your life. The first Al-Anon slogan I learned was "Let go and let God."

Let God take care of your ah, and you take care of you.

Please keep coming back here. You are not alone.

((Lizzie))

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Liz you are deserving of all the good things that you desire. Living with the disease of alcoholism has convinced you otherwsie .

Please, please search out meetings and attend.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Liz and welcome to the board this Christmas. Go ahead and rant...tantrum and do t good just to get the negative energy out. I agree with what has been given you here...all of it especially the meetings. If you have to use some defiance to get your recovery needs met...do so. I did and it worked out just fine even as it felt strange when I first attended. It saved my life and sanity. Hate is a very weighty load to carry without help. Keep coming back here also. (((((hugs))))) smile

Kerrymom · Senior Member

I understand too!! Last year I was so angry with my AH and depressed it was awful and was my bottom. Al anon truly did give me life back - I no longer am just going thru the motions to get through a day and I'm able to enjoy my kids again. This is a horrible disease don't let it take you down with it! Keep coming back!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.